Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Valleys of Shadow and Rivers of Joy

Today I was so discouraged on the phone with my mom. Some of you know my car has had some issues lately - the A/C went out, the interior, driver's side, door-handle broke, I "tapped" the concrete pole on the way into my parking garage and broke the light casing (a little). These are just the repairs I haven't taken care of.... because together they are over $1,000. No biggie, really, I can live without A/C and I can roll the window down to open the door - and since I don't have an extra $1k laying around, its probably for the best.

But then on Sunday I was working on my computer and needed to back something up to disk. And my disk drive was MISSING! Yes, it was missing - as in not showing up on my computer, not showing up anywhere - I tried putting CD's in it, I tried putting DVD's in it - nothing. It was working, but it was like my computer had CD/DVD drive amnesia. I spent a bunch of time searching the internet for help, and tried a few things, but most of them were too technical for me. I took it to the Student Technology Center today to have them see if they could figure it out - no luck. I would have to check it in for a few days to have them take a look at it. A few days that I just don't have until after finals are over... and they are closed after finals.

So I left, thinking, well, at least I don't really need the drive right now - I don't need it to write papers or get on the internet. And I told my mom about the problem and she did some troubleshooting (like, "Maybe you can get an external hard drive.") - which was really sweet.

But at the end I just said, "It just seems like there have been a lot of things like this, this quarter." I was feeling pretty bummed out. I don't have money to fix my car, I don't have money to fix my computer - UGH!

I was sitting back at home later in the afternoon, and was on my computer. And I'm not sure why I did it, but I thought, "I'll just check it out and maybe the drive will be there!" not really believing that it would be.

And would you believe it.... IT WAS THERE!!!! I was able to make the CD for a friend, which was a huge blessings, and I was so grateful for the Lord's blessing in that moment.

There is no reasonable explanation for why it disappeared. And there is really no reasonable explanation for why it is back. But it is. And I am so grateful to the Lord.

It makes me think of the Jars of Clay song, where it goes "I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of shadow to rivers of joy." Obviously, this was just a little valley of shadow compared to some of the valleys I and others have experienced this year, and my joy is small compared to some of the highs I've had this year. But I think that it matters that I sing even in the valley I was in today, and even in the river tonight.

Final word on this issue:
I am shocked over and over at the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. That he hears the whisper prayers of my heart and provides specifically for me. I am grateful for his precious care of me.