Tiff's Life Now

2011: By the Numbers (its a pun)*

2012-01-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Professionally:
Conferences attended: 2
Papers presented: 2
Papers presented at a single conference: 2

Papers accepted for publishing: 1 (Teachers College Record - dig it!)
Chapters published: 1 (Gender and Higher Education)
Other people's papers edited and reviewed for journals or columns: 4

Dissertation proposals started: 1
Dissertation proposals finished: 0
Dissertations finished: 0
Dissertation pages written by end of December, 2011: 39**
Days spend avoiding dissertation: ~200
Articles and books consumed to write 39 pages: ~45

Jobs currently holding: 2
Maximum jobs held at one time: 4
Maximum hours worked per week: "40"
Maximum hours worked per week really: 28
Number of emails received regarding jobs: ~4,576
Decisions made about what I want to be when I'm done with this season of life (aka PhD): 0

Personally:
States visited: 7 (Arizona, Washington, Texas, North Carolina, Missouri, Illinois, Wisconsin)
Round trip flights: 8
Road trips to destinations 6 or more hours away: 2
Road trip to Orange County: ~45
Foreign countries visited: 3 (Mexico, Canada, England)
Out of town friends and family hosted: 13 (Heather, Sarah, Kathryn, Monica & DJ, Mom & Dad, Andie & Milton, Bethany & Ryan, Laura, Barb)

Weddings attended: 4
Weddings participated in: 3
Premarital sessions attended: 6
Engagements of friends announced: 2
Pregnancies of friends and family announced: 5
Babies born to friends & family: 6 (Asher, Owen, Thomas, Natalie, Violet, Jedi)
Asked when Curby and I will be having babies: ~785

Concerts attended indoors: 2 (Watkins Family Hour, David Crowder* Band)
Concerts attended outdoors: 4 (Allison Krause, U2, Hollywood Bowl Orchestra, LA Philharmonic)
Professional baseball games attended: 1
Movies attended: 14

Living room rearranged: 3
Desks assembled: 2
Couch assembled: 1
Ice Creams made: 2
Shrimp Enchiladas made for dinner: ~10
Cake pops consumed: ~20
Pounds gained: 10

Trips to Michael's Craft Store: 10
Trips to Disneyland: 9
Breakfasts at Marie Calendars: 15

Baby quilts made: 1
Baby bibs made: 6

Paper flowers made: 250
Programs sewn: 200
Wedding "thank you" cards sent: 2
Wedding "thank you" cards remaining: 70

Posts made to this blog: 29 (a new low)
Posts made to the Tiff and Curby blog: 17 (some of them were double dips with this blog)
Photos taken: 2855***

Here's to a new year, where I take fewer pictures but am involved in more lives; write more pages, but complain and procrastinate about it less; and where I make my creative side (sewing and cooking) a priority!

*i got this idea from Jess!
** including automated table of contents and reference list...
*** does not include the pics i deleted, some of these (very few) may be pics that others took and gave to me - maybe up to 150 of them?

2011: A Year in Review

2012-01-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

One of my friends (who blogs at Portraits of a Rambling Thought) posts a summary for each month - by day. I think its really neat. Its a cool way to look back and remember what happened throughout the day/year. I however, seldom know what day it is, let alone what date it is, so this system doesn't really work for me.

But as I've been thinking about how to capture 2011 in a post, I decided that I could probably get my act together enough to remember some high points by month. Some of these things have been posted about in detail in previous posts this year, but I thought it would be fun to do a brief (ha ha) summary of what is one of (if not THE) best years of my life.

(In a weird twist of fate, or an "Enigma of the Mystical", over at the "We're all gonna die" blog, my friend Jess had the same idea! If you have not checked out this blog, now's the time, you can get caught up on her life and the peril the world was in in 2011 all in one fell swoop and it will only whet your whistle for what is to come in 2012)

So here you have it.... 2011: A (Truly Terrific) Year in Review

January: I rang in the new year with my parents in Phoenix, and then returned to LA to begin work in earnest on my dissertation. Later in the month, my parents came to So Cal for a week at the end of the month, and I got to take a mini-vacation with them in San Clemente, enjoying the beach and whale watching, as well as a really fun tour of the Mission of San Juan Capistrano.

February: Mid-month, Sarah came to visit both me and her sister, Emily, who was expecting a baby (since born, the weekend of my wedding!). We went to Disneyland, and to the cliffs of the Palos Verdes Penninsula to whale watch (early in the year is good whale watching time, apparently). She wished for me to go on a date with this guy I was talking to at the time. The guy and I did end up going on one date that weekend, and one in early March. Just after her visit, Heather and Jason came to visit for the NBA All-Star Game. Heather and I attended the game, and then an after party with Jason (who was working the game) - it was so fun to spend some time with her before her and Jason's wedding!

March: I traveled to Philadelphia for the annual NASPA conference. I had a great time with Jessica S, Matt Fulmer, Katie Treadwell, and other friends who were in town for the conference. We explored Philly, enjoyed a variety of Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches, learned about spiritual friendships (thanks Frank!), ran the "Rocky Steps", and helped me realize that the guy I had gone on two dates with was a non-starter. That was great, because mid-March I joined OKCupid (thanks to Jessica's pushing) and met Curby! By now, you know this story, so I won't belabor it. Want to relive? Click here. Near the end of the month, I hosted my cousin Monica, and her husband, DJ, for a brief visit. We explored Hollywood and went to Disney (my annual pass was already getting a workout!) and they got to meet Curby. Also in March, I celebrated the upcoming birth of my friend Casey's baby, made a quilt for Collin and Candice's soon-to-be-born baby, and celebrated my friend Jeremiah's 30th birthday.

April: In April, my parents came for a visit. It was really fun to have them in town and they were able to meet Curby, and we all got together with our friend Jessica to play games (read: DOMINION!) at my house. By then both Curby and I knew we'd be getting married, so I was especially glad my parents liked him. Curby also came with me to visit the Fergason family, where I had planned to go in April to attend Andilin's horse show. Curby's parents came down for a day, so I got to meet them, and they met the Fergs, too. And THEN, Sarah and Myles came by, too - just to meet the Curbster. It was a really great time! Also in April, I had a short visit with Melissa Haigh and her three cute kids, had a really fun happy hour with Shark, Kevin, and Soozy Rooz at the Border Grille, celebrate Easter with Curby and his friends at Faith Worship Community, got to see the Watkins Family Hour reunite with Chris Theile for a Nickel Creek reunion-type show, and buy my first pair of authentic cowboy boots.

May: Three major events occurred this month. First, I got to spend a few precious hours with Kathryn W and Mel Gruver, friends from grad school, down in San Diego. I almost murdered them when I found out that they were going to be at a conference in SD and hadn't told me, because they didn't know how close SD and LA were. But I relented and instead drove them to the beach and enjoyed In-n-Out with them. For the best, I guess. Second, my mom came to LA for a "Girl's Weekend" that was actually 7 days! It was amazingly fun, and we had a great time going to dinner and a movie ("Bridesmaids") with Curby, taking an Italian cooking class at the Cordon Bleu in Pasadena with Jessica "Mrs. Cupcake" Roberts, and then participating in a "Cake Ball Workshop" with Jessica R, who taught us how unfortunately easy it is to make cake pops.
As if that wasn't enough, I flew out to Greenville near the end of the month to be a bridesmaid in Heather and Jason's wedding. It was so fun! We had a great time decorating, getting pedicures, and just hanging out. Curby joined starting the night of the rehearsal dinner and it was awesome to have him there to dance with at the reception. After the wedding, we had a great visit with the Filby family, lunch at my favorite - Rancho Nuevo - with Maura and Marcus and Jenn (now Schroeder) Coppernoll, and then spent time in St. Louis at a Cardinals game and hanging out with Matt Fulmer. Maybe one of the funnest Memorial Weekends ever!

June: Life became a whirlwind in June! My parents came back out for a visit - to help celebrate the graduation of my friend Jessica. She is like a second daughter to them, and a sister to me, so we hosted a graduation party at my apartment that was filled with laughter, gluten-free snacks and reckless game playing. It was a really fun evening. The next weekend, Curby and I and our friends, the Cummings, headed down to Anaheim for a U2 concert... where Curby proposed to me! (See the story here!) As if that wasn't enough, I turned 37 and had an awesome mini-golf birthday party with an impromptu Justin Beiber theme. Finally, in the last weekend of the month, Curby and I took a road trip to Idlewild (hill country) by way of Temecula (wine country). It was a fun road trip and we enjoyed being out in nature together. Also in June: We saw Allison Kraus and Union Station at the Greek Theater!

July: July started out with a bang - of fireworks! Curby and I went with some friends to the Hollywood Bowl for the 4th of July Spectacular, featuring Hall and Oates. It was super fun. The next week I joined my dad's family in Spokane Washington for a mini-family reunion, and while there went wedding dress shopping with my mom and two of my aunts. It was a great and special experience and I loved having them there. At the end of the month, finally, after three years of waiting... I hosted Kathryn on an awesome visit to LA! We went to Disneyland, practiced making wedding bouquets and bouttennieres, hung out with Curby and friends, and spent the day bicycling down the coast of Orange County. Also in July, Curby and I started our pre-marital counseling, and in VERY exciting news, Baby Asher Bullard was born to my dear friends Collin and Candice!

August: We started the month with a visit of our good friends Bethany and Ryan Speier, who agreed to be our engagement and wedding photographers, despite living in Seattle. We just generally enjoyed their company while taking amazing photos and recording video for this little video they made that later would blow our minds. Mid-month, both our parents,and my dear friend and bridesmaid, Barbara, came into town for a fun engagement party we had down in Orange County, and I was surprised by the arrival of two of my aunts - Gloria and Donna - who decided to attend from Seattle at the last minute. What great joy!!! It was also the first time our parents had met each other, and it was really great to have Barb in town with me. Near the end of the month, my parents came back so that we could celebrate their 39th wedding anniversary at the Hollywood Bowl, listening to John Williams conduct the LA Philharmonic. It was an evening for the ages - we had so much fun together and we loved celebrating my parents that way! Also in August, I decided that working full-time over the summer PLUS working on a dissertation PLUS planning a wedding was not for me. So I stopped my dissertation until after the wedding.

September: Most importantly, Curby and I traveled to Fort Worth early in the month to visit his family, meet his extended family and granny, and meet a lot of his friends (and half of his groomsmen). We enjoyed Whataburger, Chicken Express, Babes - oh, and meeting people was fun, too. While there we also got to have breakfast with some of my Baylor friends (myles, sarah, melissa) which was a treat. Also, in September I started advising at my local Alpha Delta Pi chapter (Alpha Chi) again, mailed wedding invitations, celebrated Dustin's 30th birthday, hosted my mom for a weekend where she attended my first bridal shower (hosted by bridesmaid Jessica Roberts), and finally got the alterations going on my dress. I also spent a lot of time coming up with wedding ideas, buying crafty stuff and then making that craft stuff into other stuff.

October: The month started with an awesome "mystery" bachelorette party as me and 8 others traveled around Hollywood on foot, trying to solve the "Accomplice: Hollywood" mystery. Amazing. That same night we celebrated the engagement of a good friend of ours - congrats Dave and Sarah! The next week we had another bridal shower (hosted by good friends Nina and Wendy), a very special time. That night we drove back up to LA for the David Crowder* Band's farewell concert. Sad but great. Curby started to move stuff in that month and slowly our apartment was overwhelmed with his stuff and wedding boxes. The apartment grew smaller and smaller. Near the end of the month I traveled to Wisconsin to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of my dear friend, Jenn, who married her love, Ed, two weeks before our wedding. It was only fitting as they had met one week after us, and got engaged about 2 weeks before us! I loved being there for her and the ceremony and reception were perfect. Also that weekend, I got to spend some time with my dear friend Laura, her hubs Andy and their daughter Hope. Laura was one of my bridesmaids and it was great to spend a day or so with her before the wedding. She blessed me! AND while there, her mom took us to see Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which was an extra special treat. Also that month, I had breakfast with a former student and her husband - Jamie and Zach - it was very fun.
The whirlwind continued as I returned from Wisconsin, with only 2 weeks till our wedding and only one week till our mom's arrived. I'll move that into......

November: Nothing much happened in November - oh, except I got married! :) Our moms came, and then our friends, and then our family and it was glorious chaos. I loved having everyone here. We went to Disney with the Fergasons, the Flower market with my mom, Karen, Candice and my jr. bridesmaid Andi, hung out with all our friends while making flowers, and then danced into the night on our wedding day. Later we went to Playa Del Carmen for the honeymoon and mostly just enjoyed napping in our lounge chairs while sipping margaritas. That month I also headed to Charlotte, NC for a professional conference, where I presented 2 papers, hung with friends, and got reinvigorated about my research. Curby joined me on the weekend and we enjoyed a day in Charlotte together before heading back to LA. Later that month, we celebrated our first Thanksgiving together! I cooked a dinner with all the trimmings, even though it was just the two of us, and we ate on our fancy china. The last of the leftover turkey will be used this weekend in a soup. :)

December: I told myself that in December I had to start working on my dissertation again... and so I did, after a week or two. First, there was the Bel Air Christmas Tea which Jennifer Ann attended with me and some friends from small group. Then we had a variety of Christmas parties all month long (for which I made awesome hand-painted sweatshirts!). Before I knew it, I had written 30 pages of my paper and we were off to Phoenix for the holiday. We celebrated with my parents and brother and had a really nice and relaxed time. Earlier in the month we had spontaneously decided to visit Collin and Candice for New Years' weekend, so we left Phoenix, dropped off Tiny at a friend's house, and boarded a plane for England-town (as Curby and I called it). The last few days were spent in Cambridge, playing with Asher, drinking good beer and whiskey, walking around town, and baking like fiends. It was a great way to end a VERY busy and exciting year.

I'm sure I missed a bunch of stuff about 2011, and hopefully the stuff I forgot can be forgiven. Upcoming posts include a "year in pictures" collage post and a "year in numbers" post (thanks for the idea Jess!).

I can't wait to see what 2012 holds. In the meantime, reliving 2011 like this reminds me that I am grateful for my family, friends, and the faithfulness of God in getting me through it. Now, off to more dissertation writing!

Pre-wedding Pow Wows (part 3): Awesome Advance Activities

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

Thursday dawned with three big events on the horizon. First, Mom, Curby, and I, along with my matrons of honor and Jr. Bridesmaid were going to the Flower Mart in downtown LA to buy the flowers for the wedding, and then in the evening Curby had a bachelor party and I had a lingerie party.

Going to the Flower Mart in the morning was something I had been looking forward to for a long time. I went there a year ago with my faculty advisor, to do the flowers for her daughter's Bat Mitzvah, and was in awe of all the flowers and their great prices. Once Curby and I got engaged, I knew that I wanted to us to do our own flowers and that we would be getting them at the flower mart. :) Kathryn went with me to the market in July, to get some practice flowers and figure out how much we'd have to budget for flowers. That trip was super fun, on its own.

On the Thursday before the wedding, we all got up early and caravanned to the flower market. It was a special time for me, since I got to have Candice, Karen and Andi there. We didn't have many other times to really visit during the weekend, and Candice got to have some car time getting to know Curby which was really nice, too.

We wandered the market, picking up flowers that mom and I had identified earlier in the week and finding the very best roses, etc, for the bouquets. All in all, we ended up with about 10 dozen or so roses, some Lisanthiams (i think?), Picasso Calla Lilies, Misty Blue Heather, and some Boxwood to use as greenery. It was a lot of fun and we were all in awe of the beauty of the market. A couple collages of pictures are below.

some flower market memories - including some of the very few pics of Candice and I together!

My handsome (future) husband!

Can you believe what a grown up Andi has become!? I loved having her at the market with us!

While there are no pictures from Curby's Bachelor Party (that I know of, LOL), there are a few photos from the Lingerie Party the girls had later that night. We are super indebted to Mark C (one of Curby's Best Men) for crafting a really fun and special evening for Curby, and to Jessica R, Barb V-M, and Sarah M-W for crafting an entertaining and fun evening for me. The girls and I enjoyed cocktails, sweet and salty snacks, while opening lingerie presents. It was really fun to share this evening with some of my closest friends in LA and from around the country. My bachelorette party was really fun (we did Accomplice: Hollywood - blog post to come!) but this was a really fun way to spend time with the friends and family who were out of town for that event.

(had to show at least one piece of lingerie, right?)

Pre-Wedding Pow-wows (Part 2): Delightful Disneyland Doings

2011-12-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

[oh yes, i did just double alliterate you, suckas!]

Wednesday was the first real day of "Wedding Time." We had meticulously planned the week leading up to the wedding to ensure a few very important things:
1) I wanted to be able to not be stressed out during the week - to just be able to enjoy my friends and family that had come into town. After all, many had come from far away - and the Bullards had come all the way from England. I just wanted to be able to see them all.
2) I wanted to be able to have fun events that were not centered around getting ready for the wedding - for example, I wanted Curby and I to be able to go to Disneyland on Wednesday with the Fergasons.

Early in our conversations about their trip out to LA, Curby and I had talked to the Fergasons about going to Disneyland when they were here. The kids started saving up their money for the trip, and Curby and I started planning the wedding week in a way that we could go with them. Our moms agreed to stay at the house, watch Tiny, and finish a few crafts for us. On Tuesday night, I had sewn all the wedding programs (I'll post a picture of one later), but we still had a few things that the moms were going to do for us - like putting together the centerpieces and wrapping the gifts for the wedding party. (Our moms really are champs, people, CHAMPS, I say!)

Early in planning our wedding week and trip to Disney, we had decided that if there were going to be 12 of us - and 6 who were under the age of 14 - we needed matching shirts. So we decided to have shirts made for our whole bridal party (4 of the 14 were fergasons), and for all the fergason family. For those of us who went to Disney, we put a little Mickey iron-on patch and everyone's names on the sleeve. It was really fun to be matching at Disney and its a great memento, still, of the wedding.

The morning of that Wednesday Curby came and picked me up and we drove over to where the Fergs were staying. We ended up caravanning down to Anaheim, and we took two of the older kids - Jared and Ryan - with us. It was fun to visit with them and they had a lot of questions about what to expect at Disney. The day ended up being a big success! We got to ride Star Tours and then a bunch of roller coasters. Later, we all had our own ice cream sundaes, and before Curby and I left them for the day (they stayed till the end of the night), we were able to watch three of the boys participate in the Jedi Training - which was really fun to see.

Overall, we had a great, great time, and would not have missed it for the world! For those of you who are engaged out there, I would totally encourage you to plan your week so that you can have fun things like this in the schedule. The events, like this one and the others that happened later in the week, are the things that really made the week special. And frankly, without some of these events I would not have gotten to see my friends or family hardly at all during the week - at least not outside of "work times." We made some really precious memories on that Wednesday!

Friday Video Fun: When Curby Met Tiffani

2011-12-09T12:03:00.001-08:00

I really do want to get back into more regular blogging. But having two blogs is difficult. For now I've decided to keep both blogs, but sometimes I'll either post the same thing on both - or more likely refer people from this blog to that one when I have posted something there I think you'll like. And then you can click and go there. (Alternatively, you could bookmark the tiff and curby blog or add it to your RSS reader)

This is one of those days.

Go to this link immediately: http://tiffandcurby.blogspot.com/2011/12/friday-video-fun-when-curby-met-tiffani.html to see the most awesome video, made by our friends Ryan and Bethany over at Effulgence Photo and Cinema, that we played at our wedding. The video was designed to be a documentary style video - and our inspiration was "When Harry Met Sally" - but I'll be honest.... the Speiers blew our idea out of the water. The video is really amazing and I cry every time I watch it. It will be a great memento for us and for our family over the years.

Enjoy!

Pre-Marital Pow-wows! (part 1)

2011-12-08T20:19:00.001-08:00

[Please note: I am an unfortunate victim of awesome alliteration - I just like it, even when it doesn't really "work"... case in point: this blog title!]

There are woefully few pictures of the events of the week before the wedding, leading up to the Thursday night before the wedding... so my memories and recollections will have to do for now. Let me start by saying that it was just an awesome week.

I got back from Wisconsin and had less than a week before Curby's and my mom came into town. Those last few days were marked by a few things:
1) my apartment slowly closing in as Curby had moved much of his stuff into the apartment while I was gone and as wedding paraphenalia took over.
2) wrapping up the final details of my two jobs, so that I could take a full two weeks off of work and voice-mail/email checking.
3) lots of errands and crafty-times.

Those days flew by quickly.

Before I knew it, Curby and I were on our way to LAX to pick up my mom. People, my mom is awesome. Seriously, she arrived at like 4:30pm and we hung out for a bit, then she stayed home to work on crafts (she folded EVERY SINGLE ONE of the program inserts) and Curby and I went out for our "last date as unmarried people." Right? She is awesome. So Curby and I left her at home and went out to our date wearing The same outfits we had worn just 8 months before, on our first date. We had a great time at our favorite Mexican restaurant (Paco's Tacos) and then down to the Santa Monica Pier (where we walked to on our first date). We rode the famous ferris wheel for the first time, then wandered to the bench where we sat and talked and where Curby kissed me for the first time. It was a really sweet time and so special to have that night together before everyone came into town and all the wedding happenings started happening.

Our first date picture on the left... "last date" picture on the right.

Curby's mom came into town the next Morning. Mom and I went to church and then spent the rest of the day running errands - I made her go out to the valley to the giant JoAnn Fabrics and Wal-Mart, and then to Michaels and Rite-Aid - yes, seriously, we went to all those places. It was really fun, actually, to have that day with my mom and get to be just the two of us for one last day.

We spent the next two days running errands and doing crafts. On Monday, Mom and I went down to OC to do a "wedding hair" trial and then to the David's Bridal to pick up my dress. I had tried to pick it up the week prior, with my friend Lisa, but they needed to make further adjustments to the bustle. It was pretty fun to go to the bridal store with my hair all done up - and it was really fun to go with my mom. Kimberly Jackson, our pastor's daughter, did my hair for the wedding and she was awesome at both the practice time that Monday and at the wedding. That night Curby moved the last of his things into my apartment and we had a nice dinner with him and his mom.

Tuesday Curby's mom ran a few errands, and mom and I went down to OC (again!) to get my engagement ring super cleaned and pick up a few final things for the wedding (gifts for friends and stuff). That afternoon both the Bullards and the Fergasons arrived into town. I went over to welcome the Fergasons and then John and the kids came back with me to my house to pick up some DVDs and meet Tiny. It was great to have them in town - I was overjoyed to see their faces, hug them and just be in their general chaos. It was great. Additionally, later, there was some hilarity as Tiny accidentally got left outside TWICE during a variety of chaotic moments. Poor dog. I think he must have been very glad later in the week when he got to go off to Jane's house for the week.

Me and Brooki (flower girl) at my apartment

More fun event recaps to come! Stay posted, my friends!

Bridesmaiding it up in the State of Cheese

2011-11-30T20:39:00.001-08:00

When I was out in Greenville for Heather Caddell's wedding, Curby and I had lunch with some old friends of mine from the Greenville days - Maura and her husband, Marcus, and Jenn. Jenn and Maura were part of a small group bible study that I led back in 2004-2006, and it is a total joy to still be in relationship with them and call them friends.

Well, while I was introducing them to Curby, Jenn mentioned that she had heard about my meeting and falling in love with Curby at (basically) first date, and prayed for something like that. And a week later it happened. Seriously! Cool, right? So when we saw her in May, she was saying that things were moving quickly and that she thought they might be getting married, too! (Curby and I were not yet engaged) I'll be darned if they weren't engaged just a few weeks later (one week before Curby and I) and their wedding was planned for two weeks before ours.

Curby and I had talked about it before we knew the date of their wedding and agreed that if we could work out the $$, I'd be at the wedding. Later, Jenn asked me if I would be IN the wedding as one of her bridesmaids and I was so honored to be able to say "Yes!"

So there I was, two weeks before I tied the knot, on a flight to Milwaukee. I"ll admit that even I thought I was crazy! At that point, I had started having trouble sleeping - on a few days I'd wake up at 5 in the morning thinking about wedding stuff, unable to get back to sleep, and basically was barely hanging on with the work I had to do. My head was totally full of wedding stuff. Despite that, I was really looking forward to hanging out with Jenn and helping her get hitched to her beloved, Edward. I was also excited because my friend, and bridesmaid, Laura lives near Jenn, and we were going to get to hang out on Sunday - and I was going to get to meet her baby, Hope, for the first time.

I arrived late Thursday night and had a great drive home getting caught up with Jenn and hearing all about the wedding. On Friday, we worked on some details for the wedding, like making the bouquets and some crafty things (centerpieces and such), a rehearsal and a really fun time decorating the rehearsal hall. Saturday was the wedding and it was just beautiful. The pastor knows Jenn and Edward well and really tailored the ceremony for them, and the reception was tons of fun! We had a blast!!

After the reception, I went home with Laura and Andy, and stayed with them until Monday morning. While I was helping Jenn, I slept great - we were burning candles at both ends and so I was sleeping HARD - but the night after I got to the Petersons', I woke up at 5am again and could not go back to sleep. It was all back - wedding thoughts! Luckily, it was just a really great day and I was so blessed, despite my full mind of worry. I had breakfast with another friend (and former student) and her husband, Jamie and Zach (who I hadn't met before), then hung out with the Petes the rest of the day. I got to play with Hope (see below) and enjoy that time together.

And then later I was treated to an amazing amazing treat.

People.

Laura's mom treated all of us to dinner and a show at the Fireside Theater in Fort Madison, Wisconsin. Laura and I followed the rest of the crew, so that Hope could sleep a little longer in her nap, so we had a really great visit on the way there, and then we got to have a delicious (!!!!!) 4 course dinner, and see one of my all-time favorite musicals: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

Picture from the preview of the show

It was really awesome and I was so blessed. It was a small theater, so every seat was good, and the music was amazing and the dancing great, and it took place on this small round stage, so the staging was interesting and fun, and it was just awesome. I was completely grateful.

It was a great end to a great trip. I flew home excited to see my future husband, excited to see my friends and family, and fully ready to begin running the sprint that was set before me.

The Wedding! Marriage! Life! (or rather a series about all of it)

2011-11-29T18:07:00.001-08:00

Trying to get my head around the idea of ~~blogging~~ dissertation-writing, but although its been challenging to get my mind back into even the idea of writing, I know I need to start somewhere. So I've decided that in the next few evenings, when I'm sitting here with my glass of wine and my dog - most nights waiting for Curby to get home (he doesn't arrive until 7pm) - I can blog. Being forced to gather my thoughts will help me in my academic writing, right? Fingers crossed at least.

Here is the plan for the posts:
1) Stuff leading up to the wedding (or: my fun friends and family and how they bless me)
2) Wedding awesomeness! (or: the amazing story of how I got to marry my true love)
3) Honeymoon fun (or: why I want to be independently wealthy)
4) Settling in (or: boy, we sure have a lot of laundry)

While I'm at it, I'll also post some pictures. We don't have a lot of our wedding pics yet, but I'll post a few candids and a couple that I got from Bethany thus far.

I'll also continue to blog on the "transitioning out of singleness series" and at some point, I'll decide if I'm going to transition into using the tiffandcurby blog full-time, or if I'll keep both.

Thanks for reading!

p.s. here's a pic to whet your whistle!

Transitioning out of Singleness (part 3b)

2011-10-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends! Today we have a follow up to my previous post "How did I do it?" A friend of mine, who was also single into her adulthood (I can't remember at what age she met and fell in love with her now husband of four? five? years, but she was not 21), had a comment that turned into a post.

We worked together in the University Ministries Office, when we were both studying for our graduate degrees at Baylor and one thing I admire about her is her candid way of communicating, and her sense of humor. Her response to the last blog post is below. I've copied it here in its entirety because I thought it was just so good! Enjoy.

Hey Tiffani-

I really enjoyed your blog post today and I was writing a comment and well the comment just got away from me and became more of an essay (yikes). I'm posting in via email and will leave it up to you on how to share it.

I love this post, because it is SO honest. Kudos to Sally for asking and wrestling with really good questions.

As a woman who was single for a while, dated A LOT (not in a good way), and struggled often with these same kinds of questions I think I can offer some encouragement and advice.

Just last night, I spent the evening with a group of married women in a bible study and the subject of our discussion was about the hurt, loneliness and rejection women experience and carry around mainly because of abandonment (usually by a father figure).

I sat and cried alongside these friends and shared a bit of my own story of sexual abuse by a family acquaintance right about the same time I was emotionally abandoned by my father. I know that these kinds of feelings are not isolated to being single. I was also reminded of a truth that I learned while being single that helped in those moments when I felt “like shit for being single” and even now when I feel like “shit” for some other insecurity or fear.

Truth #1 “It is not hard to love me.” The worst part of dating and having your hopes dashed, regardless of how high your expectations or hopes are, is the nagging feeling of rejection. Even if the reason things don’t work out has little to do with you, there is still an underlying sense of “is something wrong with me?”

It doesn’t help that there is a prevalent idea in Christian culture that lauds marriage as an accomplishment reached only by those who have “gotten it all together” or somehow fixed all their broken parts.

The challenge is not to believe the lies the Enemy tries to tell you in these vulnerable moments. The lie says that you are broken and unlovable.

The TRUTH is we are all broken, but we are all redeemed! I am healed and made whole by a savior who loves me. It is not hard to love me. Christ loves me. I can remind myself that this is true because of the host of people in my life that show love to me on a daily basis. This is a struggle I dealt with as a single person and one I still deal with as a married
person.

Getting counseling is a wise move. It will help. It was for me as I was able to see clearly and deal with the underlying hurt and rejection that contributed to the “shitty” feelings of being single. I was able to see them as just shitty feelings, less about my relationship status and more about hurtful things that happened to me or that I did to myself.

The longing didn’t go away, but understanding made it a lot easier. Knowing why a feeling is happening helps give perspective. When you have a good understanding of your “issues” (for lack of a better word) Relationships, dating or otherwise, are *easier* (note I didn’t say easy). Realistic expectations for dates are more manageable when you have good perspective on yourself and how (& why) you deal with various challenges and situations.

Truth #2 “Give the Time value.” I refuse to spout any of the cliché’s I heard while single about waiting. My only encouragement is to use the time. Don’t look at this single part of your life as a time of waiting or getting ready for something next. Rather than view this as a “time of singleness” or the future as a “time of being married” or a “time of whatever,” just look at your life as *time*.

When I was in college I could do things that I can’t do now because of work and family obligations. There are things I can do now, working rather than studying, because I have more financial resources than I did in college. There are things I can do now as a younger person I won’t be able to do when I am older. I will be able to do things when I am older that I can’t do now.

Time doesn’t have good or bad value. It is just valuable.

I would encourage anyone younger than 30, married or not, to use the time to create some really good habits (Tiffani's note - I would encourage this at any age! you are never too old to develop good habits). Develop the kind of habits that become so ingrained in who you are that you must do them in order to function properly. Bible Study, prayer and contemplation, exercise and self-care are the habits that will see you through whatever life brings your way. If these kinds of things are challenging to make into habits, then again,
counseling is a great place to figure out why.

Romans chapter 12 is, for me, a guiding treatise on how to live life in every time. The final verses of the chapter seem appropriate here:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-Romans 12:9-21 (NIV)

Transitioning Out of Singleness (part 3): How did you do it?

2011-10-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend of mine sent me an email about her current single-ness, and asking me a couple of questions. I decided to include it here, as part of the series, along with my advice to her, because a number of my friends are single and hoping to be married someday and
1) She thought the advice I offered her was helpful, so maybe others will, too.
2) I thought that some of you out there might a) have advice that is in addition to mine, and b) have questions that we can all answer together.
I certainly do not think that I know anything about courtship, really, or that my experience is indicative of the experience of others. But I do hope that what I have to say below will bless you like my conversation with - lets call her Sally - blessed me.

(all communication posted with permission)

From Sally:
Tiff,
I just ... I have to know how you did it. Each time I go on a date that seems promising, and then realize I've been duped once again I feel like my heart breaks a thousand times over. I just can't do it anymore.
And I refuse to believe that wanting something or not wanting something is what affects the outcome. Any tips you have on not feeling like shit for being single are welcome! Because at this point there's not enough glue in the world to glue the pieces of my heart back together.
- Sally

My reply:
Hey Sally,
My friend, may the Lord be with you! I feel for you so much. I wish I could tell you that I had a solution to the pain that comes with being single and wishing to be otherwise. But most of my answers will seem trite or pat, and I don't want to offer you such things.

I totally agree - "wanting" and "not wanting" are not the difference - that is "The Secret" kind of stuff, and it's BS. (Even though you'll hear Christians say things that sound eerily similar to that philosophy). Plenty of people in scripture wanted things and Lord withheld for a time. This was most often true of men and women who wanted children, but I think that wanting to have a loving relationship is a similar "want".

I don't know that I have advice that will be super helpful, but what questions and advice I do have, I will offer you:
advice #1 - be extra choosy. One thing I like about you, and that we have in common, is a predisposition to believe that the next thing is the best thing. Because of that, you have to raise your standards higher, so that not every cute guy who seems funny and smart gets through door. It will mean fewer dates, but the dates will be more likely to meet your expectations.

advice #2 - take a break from dating for a while, if you need, so that you can let your heart heal a bit. during that time, really think about why you want to be dating/married - what is it about being single that you think you might want to leave behind? what is it about being married/long-term-partnered that you would want? think about what expectations you have for dating and for a relationship, and then think about which of those expectations are ones that could be fulfilled before a relationship really gets going.

advice #3 - give it time. I know this advice stinks, but as someone who didn't meet the love of her life until she was in her mid-30s, I'm here to tell you that even though the intervening years were hard, both Curby and I would say that it was worth it to find each other. You might meet the perfect guy tomorrow, and you both know it! (that is what happened to Curby and I) or you might meet him in 5 years and know it right away. Or you might meet him tomorrow and not be sure for 2 more years. Or you might meet him in 5 years and not be sure for 2 more years. There is unfortunately just no way of saying. My best advice is to just keep doing what you're doing - go out to places where people are, meet people, be friendly, get involved in regular things and hopefully, when the time is right, you'll run into mr. right.

advice #4 - go to counseling. Seriously, I've done it a couple times - and many sessions were me sitting there crying saying, "why all my friends and not me!?" - but its nice to have a place where someone will listen to you say that weekly and offer helpful suggestions for any work you can do to make yourself more ready for dating/marriage when it comes.

Finally, take your pain and hurt and desires to God. Cry out to him in your pain and loneliness and bring your complaints to him. For me, the psalmist who said, "but as for me, my foot had almost slipped" best represented where I was when I met Curby. I had almost lost hope that marriage was for me - I had even started looking into single adoption, but I just kept bringing my request to the Lord and keeping my eyes open just in case. Even when you feel like your heart is broken into so many pieces its a puzzle that can't be repaired, the Lord is there and he loves you. Small consolation, sometimes, but still true. I love that Nichole Nordemon song "Small Enough" because that is what I felt so often.

Grace to you, friend. I hope this is even somewhat helpful. We can continue to dialogue - I'd love it. Blessings, Tiff

What do you think, friends? Do you have any additional advice/suggestions? do you have any other questions/thoughts?

Transitioning Out of Singleness (Part 2b): The Little Things, Or How I Was Prepared Beforehand

2011-08-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

When I look back at the past few years, in light of my upcoming marriage, I can see ways that God has really prepared me for marriage. Some of these were things that I did - at the prompting of friends or family - and some of them were just blessings that came through divine appointments.

The various things that I've been reflecting on, in no particular order are detailed below:

* Communication: Yes, I am a talker. But I have not always been a good communicator. I have been afraid of conflict and an avoider of the "hard talks." My ability to communicate authentically and openly has definitely improved in the last ten years and generally as a result of a few specific encounters:
1) In 2001, I moved in with the Fergason family. I wanted to live with a young, Christian family and see what that looked like from the "inside." We used it as practice discipleship for all three of us. Quickly after arriving, I realized - as did they - that I was not sharing what I was really thinking and feeling. I would just hold it in to avoid conflict and because of that, it was difficult to work out hard issues that we encountered while living together. We got along pretty well, generally, but as always when you live with someone there are some growing pains and conflicts as you rub up against each other. Ultimately, John and Karen gave me an assignment: When something bothered me, or when something came up in my mind that I wanted to talk about, I had to write it on an index card that I kept in my pocket. Then at our weekly house meetings, I was responsible for bringing up the issues on the card, or abandoning them forever. They didn't look at the card in advance, so it wasn't like I couldn't decide to wait a week, but it helped me to discern what things were worth being upset about and thus bringing up, and what things were not worth worrying about. I've used this exercise time and again over the years, when I knew that I was going to be afraid to bring something up to a friend or family member. Putting it on the card helped me to be responsible to myself and to my feelings. It also helped keep me focus on the main issue.
2) In 2004, I met Laura Peterson. Laura is a frank and gentle communicator. At one point, there was a mis-communication between us and she addressed it with openness and it not only cemented my friendship with her, but taught me that being open about our issues and concerns is better than holding grudges or making assumptions. (Duh, right?) She also taught me the value of creating a safe space - that when you humble yourself, you make a safe space for someone else to humble themselves. This particular finding has been very evident in my relationship with Curby, who has been willing to be vulnerable with me from the start, making it easy for me to do so also.
3) In 2008, I became roommates with Sarah Martin-Werntz. Sarah was a mid-20's Social Work Masters student, and committed to justice, equality, and conversation. She was intentional about scheduling roommate time each week at least (Pancake Fridays was our ritual) and helped me to think more about my positions on political and social issues and also how to articulate them in a gentle and welcoming way. Learning how to challenge others and to be challenged was a great boon to my ability to communicate about my heart issues.
*** There were many others along the way to facilitated my improved communication as well. But these three are great examples of divine relationships and how the communication of others is helping me to be an honest and open communicator with Curby.

* Reading and Self-reflection: I love to read, but I don't always read "self-help" type books. However, when I came to UCLA, I found that I was struggling with loneliness and finding my place. Two books really helped me to change how I looked at myself and the world around me.
1) Life of the Beloved, by Henri Nouwen. I blogged about this book in the past, so I won't expand much, except to say that I had to reclaim my "belovedness" in God's eyes in order to be ready to receive that I could be beloved in Curby's eyes. Being reminded of God's overwhelming and deep love for me not only allowed me to be a better friend to others because it also reminded me of their belovedness. Knowing my own belovedness, and knowing that Curby is the beloved as well, makes me value him and his nature and characteristics even more.
2) How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, by Henry Cloud. My friend Shannon recommended this book to me, although she had not read it yet. I'll be honest I only got through about 75% of this book, and some of his exercises were near to impossible in my eyes.... BUT - reading this book and attempting the exercises (like trying to chat up five new men a week) helped me to become more open to the idea of dating. It helped me to face my fears and to own my attractiveness, my shape, my style. I didn't even realize how closed off I was until I read this book and was forced to see my own behaviors.

* Good Examples of Others: I am so blessed to have a number of men and women around me who have great, Christian marriages. Because of this, I have been able to glean little tidbits (and in some case have long discussions about a variety of things) about what it means to be a good wife - in the way that I want to be. From Karen Fergason, I learned how to exhort your husband, how to revere him and build him up. From my mom, I learned that it is not worth picking apart all the little things but instead always placing little things in context of the big picture and loving because of it. From Dorothy and Nick, I learned the value of serving your family and finding ways to bless those around you even sacrificially. From my grandparents and parents, I learned that finding shared interests was important and that you could build a life around enjoying the same things.

* Attitude of Sacrifice: One thing that I have taken from my best examples of marriage is the attitude of dying to self and living for the other. This is hard to do in a situation where there isn't mutual trust and safety. But I had been learning for the past few years that there is value in submitting your will to the will of others. To serving others even when its inconvenient and to being a friend who loves in surprising ways. I've seen this example so many times in my family and friends - not just in romantic relationships, but in others, too, and taking on this attitude that others matter more than me has helped me to be a better partner.
Disclaimer: I'm totally still working on this and SO often Curby suggests something and my initial response is "No." - but I'm learning how to say "Yes" first and then change my mind later, rather than the opposite.

* Prayers of Others and the Good Book: I used to do a lot of mentoring, discipleship and counseling. And I counseled women and men, singles and marrieds. I used to feel nervous advising married people, but Karen reminded me that I knew God's word and that if all truth is God's truth, then unmarried people have truth for married people, too.
1) I mentioned this in the earlier post, but the prayers of others totally prepared me to be a married woman. Knowing that there were people out there crying out to God for me, gave me hope and encouragement. I felt less forgotten and abandoned when one of my married friends sat with me crying and saying, "I don't understand why you're single either, Tiffani, but I have been talking to God about it daily!" Believing that prayer works and knowing that they were praying kept me willing to believe this could happen.
2) It may sound cliche, but reading and studying and memorizing the Bible - especially the Psalms, where David cries out for God's help - really helped prepare me for this journey. Not only did they sustain me through my singleness, and give me words for when I was struggling to understand God's plan for my life, but they have helped me in the recent months as I pray in both gratitude and for help to be a better partner, and I know they will help me as I enter into this next season of marriage.

So there you have it. For now, those are the things I've been thinking about and noticing on my journey toward being a married woman. I continue to be excited about my future with Curby and the planning continues to move forward in a joyful way. More posts soon, friends. In the meantime, thanks for letting this blog ALSO be a way that I was prepared for marriage!

Transitioning out of Singleness (Part 2a): Words that hurt the Singleton's heart.

2011-08-25T03:46:00.000-07:00

As I was thinking of how God prepared me for marriage, I was compelled to write about two particular things that people often say to singles about being single. It became longer than I expected, so the posting turned into two separate postings. The first (below) is things "not" to say to a singleton. The second post specifies the ways that I feel like I was prepared (and prepared myself) for marriage.

Before I share some of the things that I can see are helping me to be a better life-mate, let me first post my very strongly felt disclaimer.

Over the course of my adult life, I have heard many many many many (often married) people imply that there are specific reasons people remain single. These particular statements always strike me as condescending and generally, though unintentionally, hurtful. By identifying these statements below, it is my goal to expose that these statements are hurtful and to clarify that although I can look back and see how I was prepared, I am not saying that any other person's singleness, nor mine, is/was as a result of the reasons below.

1) The first is because "God wants to prepare them for their husband or wife." Yes, I think that a person's singleness may be a result of their needing further refinement (or I suppose of their partner needing further refinement) but to imply this about someone else is grossly prejudicial and condescending. Hopefully my words in the next post will show how I was prepared, and the steps I took to prepare myself - not just to be a good wife and life-partner, but also just to be a better friend and colleague. I would be more likely to say that doing these things helped me to be more open to approaching a romantic relationship than I needed to do these things "to be ready' to be a spouse. Frankly put, plenty of people meet a marriage partner before they are "ready" to be a spouse and just as many people get married in that same state. I have known them. Some of them worked it out and became great spouses. I just don't think "being prepared" alone is a good reason for a person being single.

2) The second is because "You need to focus all your attention on doing God's will, and then when you stop focusing on finding a partner, God will present that person to you." Oh, this one makes me even angrier than the other - not the least of which is because I have spent the last 12 years really seeking God's will for my life -and following it into spiritual leadership roles, across the country, and into a new career, as a single woman... None of which I wanted for myself, while knowing the work would likely keep me single through each season. But also during those 12 years I wanted to meet a partner and I continued to look around for that person, even as I had fruitful ministries following God's call. And here I am - a decade older - and just now am meeting this person for me.
This particular statement "Just focus on doing God's work/will/etc, and then you'll meet your person." and its kin "When I stopped looking, that is when I found _______." are particularly painful because it implies to the receiver that they must NOT be doing God's will. Additionally, I frankly did not know how "stop looking" for my future husband. Being a wife and mother was a deep call in my heart and I did not know how to silence that in a way that made me immune to meeting new men and (even if only briefly) wondering "Could this be him?"

I want to bring these up, because I know how easy it is for each of us to advise others out of our own experience. A friend of mine, we'll call him Tom, told the story of how he met his wife and used example #2 above, during bible study, to a single gal asking for prayers for her husband. As Tom told it, he decided to stop just living to date to find his wife, and instead recommitted himself to God and gave up dating...and a few months later met his now wife of four years. This is a great story and yes, for him part of what it took was giving up his dating behaviors and focusing on doing work for God. But his experience is only his experience. And my experience is only mine - which is why even though I'll gladly tell you I met Curby at OKCupid.com, I won't say that you "should" get on that site because that is totally the way to find your husband. Its just rubbish to expect other people's stories to be like ours.

I guess what I'm saying is that everyone's story is different. Is it OK, when you single friend asks why she or he is still single to say, "Well, maybe there are some things you need to work on before you're ready." Sure, I think it IS OK - but only say it if you are willing to be specific with your friend about habits and behaviors that they can refine. And only if you are willing to partner in the responsibility for loving them through it. A better answer might be, "I don't know. But hopefully you'll meet your person soon." and then tell them the story of some old friend of yours who met her soulmate at 37. Or at 42. Or at 54, if you can. And pass on a little hope instead of pain.

Phew. All of that being said.... check out the next post. :)

And feel free to weigh in on this one below. What other "reasons" for being single do you hate? What reasons do you give your friends when they ask why they are still single?

(and lastly, remember to keep our single friends in our prayers, too - it can be a hard life out there for a single person, and knowing that someone is praying for you to be at peace and to find your soulmate - that someone is crying out for you makes a difference!)

National S'mores Day!

2011-08-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

I'm not as up to date on the national "food" celebrations as I should be...So when I made Mini S'mores Pies last night for my small group bible study, it was without knowledge that today was National S'mores Day.

I first saw this recipe on Pinterest. Pinterest is an online 'bulletin' board where you can pin images from around the web and it will keep track of websites for you. Your friends can connect with you there, comment on the different images you post (I've been posting a LOT of wedding ideas and things), and suggest stuff as well. If you are interested in joining, let me know by putting your email address in the comment field and I'll send you an "invite."

Anyhow, on Pinterest, I found a recipe for "S'mores Pie" - it looked pretty easy (so easy my mom wouldn't send it out on her recipe of the week email) and delicious. I put it aside to try someday.

Last night, I was in charge of bring snacks to bible study and I thought "This is the perfect opportunity to make that pie!"

But then I thought.... What if instead of a big gooey pie, I made little individual pies in cupcake papers?

So I did.

I used break apart cookie dough, and pressed one square into the bottom of a cupcake paper, in a regular-sized cupcake pan (I highly suggest using the papers and not just trusting your pan to release the pies). Then I put in about a tablespoon of marshmallow fluff and topped it with a dollop - maybe 1/2 a tsp? maybe a tsp? of Nutella. The recipe called for Hershey's chocolate bar, but I was experimenting. :) Then I pressed out another cookie square in my hands and sort of fitted it on top of the filling, like a lid.

Then I baked them at 350 for about 14 minutes (or until they looked almost done).

I wish I had taken pics of the process, but I didn't. While cooking they puffed up really big and marshmallow broke the surface. After cooking they sunk in like black bottom cupcakes. Maybe I could have used a bit more filling?

Either way, they were a HUGE hit at bible study. We all loved them and some people had more than one. It was the perfect amount of sweetness.

The finished product (I reserved a couple so that Curby could try them) looked like this:
(please excuse the quality, they were taken with my phone and I forgot to use the macro function)

So Happy S'Mores Day! Now get baking!!

Double-Duty

2011-08-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

Since Curby and I got engaged, we have been working on establishing our "wedding website." We decided to create our own site on blogspot, so we had more control over the design of the site.

I've been blogging in both places - here on Tiff's Life, I'm blogging about, well, my life.... and on the other site, I'm blogging about various wedding-related events, experiences, thoughts.

My current debate is whether I should re-post my posts onto this blog, or just refer you to the other.

For today, I'm referring you over. :) If you're interested in reading thoughts specifically related to the wedding stuff, go to: www.tiffandcurby.blogspot.com, and enjoy. The most recent post was about our experience getting our engagement photography and videography done this last weekend. Enjoy.

Tiffani

Reading for the 21st Century Bride (and Groom)

2011-07-26T13:31:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in the process, as you regular readers know, of a series about my transition out of singleness and into married-ness. Here is a review of some books I've been reading lately that are great reads for the modern bride - or the modern single women who wants to better understand men or herself!

I was blessed recently, when a friend of mine, who is also one of my bridesmaids, Sarah Martin-Werntz, along with her husband, sent Curby and I a few books as an engagement present.

The first two books were a companion series called "Couples Only." One is "For Women Only" and describes research on men and what men are thinking/feeling/wanting/needing. The other is "For Men Only" and does the same for women. From what I hear, there are a lot of books out there to help men and women understand each other "Love & Respect", "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" etc. The two books Myles and Sarah sent are similar but are smaller and maybe cover more topics (? I haven't read the others, so I don't really know).

This series has been a great read for Curby and me. We have both learned more about each other, and it has led to some great discussions surrounding our emotions and how we're feeling. It has also opened the door for us to say to each other "You do a great job of this!" or "Now I understand why when you do this, I feel this way," or "...when I do this you respond this way" and "OH! I could do more of THAT to bless you, right?"

The "For Women Only" book has also led to some great conversations with me and my friends! I'll say, "I learned this _________, and this is how it changed me....." and they'll say, "What?! I never knew that _________" or "Oh yeah, I learned that one the hard way by making this mistake __________". Even Curby's book "For Men Only" has helped me learn about myself and has led to some great conversations with my friends as I realize that I am always thinking about all different aspects of my life, and Curby may only be thinking about one thing at a time - as my friend Dave says, "Women are like dry erase boards, men are like file cabinets."

If you are dating, in the process of getting married, or married - or just interested in learning about the opposite sex, I HIGHLY recommend this series. I have been so blessed by Myles' and Sarah's thoughtfulness in giving it to us, and I plan to pass the books along to others on their relationship journeys, as well.

The third book I've been reading - and really, I JUST started it today, is called "The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil their True Feelings About Getting Hitched." Essentially, it is a book about the feelings and experiences that people (women primarily) go through in the marriage process, and how to go through them in a healthy and complete way. Sarah told me about it before even reading my blog post about grief and joy in the marriage process! I've only started it and I can tell that there are going to be major parts that I connect to. I know that for me, as I wrote in that earlier post, the feelings of grief were kind of a surprise to me - no one had mentioned it before - so I am really excited to read a book that talks about the transitions that women go through as they leave daughterhood/singlehood and move into wifehood/marriedhood/motherhood, etc. I think that this book will be a great companion on my journey toward marriage - which is happening just a short 3 months and 10 days from today (ahhhh!!!).

This book is for you if you: are thinking of getting married, are married and you feel like your experience differed from the modern "sunshine and roses" myth, or if you are just interested in being more conscious of your identity transitions in your life in general.

A note: Some of us are older brides (like me!). This means that we may have had a lot of other life transitions already that a younger bride might not have - for example, I feel like I transitioned out of being "Chris and Warren's daughter, Tiffani" to being "Tiffani, daughter of Chris and Warren" years ago. So my identity crisis may not come in that transition, but in the transition from a singleton to being part of a couple. But also, I have been dealing with how my relationship (friendship) with my mom will likely change as a result of living with someone else who has my first attention. My point is, the transitions may be slightly different for all of us, but are still valid and worth exploring. I'm excited to be on this journey with Curby, and excited to share it with you, my friends, as well.

Transitioning out of Singleness, Part 1: Griefs and Joys

2011-07-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

Griefs and Joys: On the pain of losing my life

I bought my wedding dress on a Thursday. My mom and my two youngest aunts, who are truly like big sisters to me, were there to help me try dresses on and pick out "the one." It was a great time where we laughed and cried together and afterward felt victorious, and also like we had really shared one of life's special moments.

At our victory lunch, after buying the dress!

The next morning I woke up to find one of my aunts sitting on the porch of the cabin where we were staying. We sat and talked for a bit and she mentioned, with tears in her eyes, that she was sad to see this visit end, as it was destined to be my last "solo" visit for quite some time. I protested, "No, there will be other times - we can still have girl's weekends and stuff!" But even as I said it, it rang hollow. I knew she was right and it was another reminder that this season of singleness is coming to an end.

Don't get my wrong - I am filled with great joy at the idea of marrying Curby. I cannot wait to be a wife, I cannot wait to be a mother, I'm excited for all the changes the Lord is bringing into my life. There is the joy of bringing some of my closest friends together and telling them what they mean to me and asking them to help me as I make this transition. There is the joy of inviting a multitude of friends and family to come celebrate with me and Curby as we enter into this new state of life. There is joy in knowing I am bringing joy to others in my family and hope to all that God does indeed answer prayer. There is so much joy.

But in the midst of that joy, is something I did not expect: grief.

When I was 32 and single a friend said to me, "I didn't get married till I was older, either, and I can totally relate to how hard it was." This friend had been married 3 years at the time and had gotten married at 29. I tried to be gracious, but inside I was frustrated and said to myself, "I was single at 29, too. And being single at 32 is different, and harder, than it was at 29." And so I have been grieving that in some ways my being able to relate clock ends at 36. This is silly, in some ways, but its how I feel.
* First of all, to presume that I know how others feel at any age is presumptuous and vain. However, I know that for me I always felt a sort of comraderie and encouragement from those women who were older than me and single, or who had been older when they got married (those 36, 37, 38 yr-old, or older friends who married when I was 33, 34, 35). I am glad to have been an encouragement to a lot of young women over the years, as I pursued the life God called me to as a single woman with (hopefully) joy and confidence, but I'm sad that now I will be speaking from a different vantage point. I grieve that loss.
* Second of all, I grieve with my single friends who are around my age or older and are losing one more single friend to marriage. Those women and men, who are longing for marriage and who have found companionship in their other single friends - even from afar, are my people. I remember when I was in that position and I was so happy for my friends getting married but also so sad and crying out to the Lord, "What about me, Lord, will you forget me forever?" And I'm sad that now I will represent, even a little bit, that thing they are longing for, and that they will not want to tell me for worry of marring my happiness or for appearing vain or self-centered (all things I worried about as I put on a brave face to with my friends true happiness).

When I think of the conversation with my aunt on the patio, I grieve the awesomeness of the single times I've been able to have with my family and friends around the country and world. I have great memories of times of great joy, traveling to Texas and Illinois for fun times with friends, for weddings and weekends of fun, traveling to Washington for family and friend time combined, and even international travel just because we might as well do it.
* I grieve that now my travel decisions are in partnership with someone else who doesn't necessarily have the same ties to my friends that I do.
* I grieve that now my travel decisions are weighted with visiting someone else's family and someone else's priorities and that at the very least, this means my ability to visit my own friends and family may be cut in half as we learn to share travel to these places that matter to us.
* I grieve that as we begin to create a family, our ability to travel will be even more constrained by finances and convenience.
* I grieve that rather than being the single person who travels to see everyone, I will be the one asking my single friends to visit me, and hoping that they will.

But even this grief comes with some new, great joys: I love traveling with Curby! We have a great time together whether on the road or in the air, and I love exploring new places with him. My joy in having a permanent "travel-buddy" (to join, not replace, my dear friends who also hold that title: Tall Brian, K-Falk, Fulms, Bullard-1&2) is immense. But I grieve the loss of my individual freedom and "footloose and fancy-free-ness"

Lastly for now, I am also filled with great joy at being part of couple. I am thrilled to have a new way to relate to my married friends - to not feel like a third-wheel, to do "couple things". I am excited that Curby likes my parents and they like him and that we have things in common and that they are looking forward to doing "couple things" together also. I love having someone to watch TV with, or talk to about my day - who really cares/listens, to cook for and to listen to over dinner, someone to care for and to care about.
* I fear becoming like my single friends who got married and then forgot about the singletons. And I think I grieve because I know that for a season at least, it might be inevitable that I spend less time with my single friends as I cultivate this new partnership.
* I grieve because I know my aunt is right. I can't stay the same and be different. This relationship is changing me - not necessarily in a bad way - but still changing me. And if I am being changed, then all of my life is being changed, too. And I grieve because I know that it means that others lives are also being changed and not by their own volition and despite their happiness for me, not always in ways they like. And not always in ways that I like or expected or want. I grieve the awesome life that Tiffani and her friends and family had - even as I rejoice in the awesome life that Tiff and Curby and their friends and their family will have.

Thus are the start of the many, many thoughts of a mid-30-something bride-to-be. The Apostle Paul says, "When I was a child, I thought like a child... but now that I am a man, I think like a man." I think this true for me also, when it comes to this relationship stuff. When I was 21 and engaged at the end of college (long story, I broke it off before graduation), I did not think of any of this stuff. I didn't have the experiences under my belt to give me empathy and grace, well hopefully grace. But now that I am a woman, I find myself strangely torn between overwhelming excitement - - truly, I could literally talk about wedding stuff and Curby's awesomeness all the time - - to embarrassed bashfulness - - I don't want it to look like I'm bragging over these blessings - - to rigid minimalization - - I don't want my friends to feel salt pouring in their wounds. I had those wounds. I have those scars. I understand the tension and the pain.

I don't have a resolution to all this yet, except to grieve the way I've always grieved - which is to say to process it as fully as I can, to cry a lot, to pray and discuss with God whenever my heart aches, and to walk forward into the reality as it exsists and as it is becoming. But I know that I want to be different even as a married woman. I want to be like some of my best married friends - conscious of my single friends, loving on them as family, always praying with confident hope for the desires of their hearts. I hope I can be that woman, that wife, and that friend.

Upcoming Series: Transitioning out of Singleness

2011-07-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

In the upcoming weeks (months?), I plan to blog a series of posts on the topic of my transition from being a single, mid-30's woman to a dating/engaged mid-30's woman. My hope is that these posts will help me to process this transition, while also sharing some of the experiences that I've been having with those who are interested because they are friends, and those who are interested because they are single, and maybe some of those who are interested because they are not single any longer.

I think the posts will cover the following topics:
Part 1. Griefs and Joys: On the pain of losing my life
Part 2. The Little Things: On how I was prepared before-hand
Part 3. What I did and didn't know: On counseling couples as a single woman
Part 4. Being Faithful in Hope: On almost giving up and God's faithfulness
(maybe some other parts as other ideas come up)

In an ideal world, I'd tell you that these posts were coming once per week, but I'm working a LOT this summer, and also need to incorporate at least some dissertation writing, so at best I can hope the series will be completed prior to my wedding (ha!). Set up your RSS and keep your eyes open for an update!

Curby asked..... I said, "Yes!"

2011-07-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Background: Two years ago, Curby decided to buy two tickets to the upcoming U2 concert. He was planning to go with his best friend, Mark, and Mark's wife Mandy. He bought two tickets hoping that by the time the concert came around, he'd have someone to take with him. Mandy, hearing this, began to pray that the person he would take to the concert would be his future wife (she mentioned this to Curby, I think, but never mentioned it to me until the day of the concert). As the concert approached, Curby was single and Mandy was disappointed. Shortly after that, Bono broke his back and the concert was postponed for a year.

Flash forward to March 26th, 2011. Curby and I were on our first date, and we both knew that something special and different was happening than had happened to either of us before. As we were walking back to the car, Curby mentioned the concert and how he had an extra ticket and maybe I'd like to go with him. I sort of laughed to myself and thought, "Wow, that is three months from now - I mean this is going well, but I'm not getting my hopes up!" and so I said, "yeah, maybe, that would be fun." and left it at that.

Soon after that first date, we were virtually inseparable. We met each other's families, Curby met my best friend and her family in Texas and some of my local friends, and I started getting to know his friends and church community.

As the weeks moved on, Curby and I continued to find that we were like-minded in almost everything. Our relationship blossomed and moved quickly. Well, to us it seemed not so quick - each week we were together it seemed like we had been together for months. We began to talk about marriage, about what kind of marriage we wanted to have, about our family, and about when we would like to get married. We started to plan our wedding and I knew that Curby was saving up for a ring and planning to propose sometime in the summer.

The U2 concert loomed in the near future, and it was now a given that I was going to attend with Curby, Mark, and Mandy.

June 17th, 2011: The Friday of the concert arrived, and it happened to coincide with three months to the day of when I first emailed Curby from the OKCupid website. We all met at Mark and Mandy's house, with Curby arriving straight from work and in a rush to get there in time. We arrived at Angel's stadium after a brief drive and train ride, and walked around the stadium to find an entrance. Slowly we made our way up to the top level, where we were pleasantly surprised to find that the stadium was serving Irish beer (we presumed in honor of U2). This was especially sentimental to Curby and I, since I first emailed him on St. Patrick's day and had been drinking Smithwicks (an Irish beer made by Guinness) that evening. Curby bought us each a Smithwicks and we headed to our seats.

Lenny Kravitz was the opening act, and we enjoyed getting settled. The weather was great and the music was good. As it started to get dark, U2 took the stage. Most of the songs were familiar and we were enjoying standing up and singing along to the show.

Soon the song "All I want is You" came on. We sat down and were just singing along when Curby turned to me and whispered some sweet words above the din of the music, then said "All I want is you - and they are singing about diamonds on a ring of gold, and I have this ring right here..... will you marry me?"

I, of course, said "Yes" and we spent the rest of the concert in a haze of lovey-dovey-ness, listening to the concert, and texting our friends and family.

Horsing Around in San Antonio!

2011-06-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

The thing I was most looking forward to after the trip to Philly was my trip to San Antonio. This year, I had committed to Andi Fergason that I would visit in the spring, on the weekend of her horse show. I had not seen her riding in a show since her very first year of horse riding, and I knew that she had improved a lot. I was really excited to see the Fergasons, get more soul-filling, love on them, and just enjoy each other's company generally! Curby decided to join me on the trip, after I told him that in order to win my heart he also had to win the heart of the Fergasons. Well, its true and I am committed to authenticity and communication. LOL.

The entire Fergason family met us at the airport, which was a really fun treat. I was inundated by kid hugs and shouts of "TIFF!!!!!" and then quieter voices saying, "Hello, Curby, its nice to meet you." which is how well the Fergason kids are trained!

Curby won over the boys on the way home by disclosing that he used to play video games, and in fact had beaten the whole "Lego: Star Wars" game. That was that, the boys were putty in Curby's hands after that! Later in the weekend we had a Wii party with just the boys and they were in heaven! Its a good thing that I still have the love of Andi and Brooki, because the boys have definitely thrown me over for the Curbster.

Later, Jared (the middle boy) told me that he was nervous about whether or not they would like Curby but their dad had reassured them that "If Tiff likes Curby, then he must be likable. I'm sure we'll like him." So I
said, "Well, J, what do you think, now that you've met him?" "I like him," he answered simply.

The first day we were there was a free day for Curby and me, so we took ourselves on a little hike and picnic in New Braunfels, followed by a blizzard at DQ. It was a really, really fun day. The weather was perfect and the hike was awesome. The picnic was perfect - a deer even came near enough to snap a photo, and the blizzard was heaven. Turns out Curby and I have the same favorite flavor and that was a fun discovery!

The horse show was awesome! Andi looked so good up on the two horses she rode, Zorro and Shilo, and she received first place for her riding on Zorro. I was so proud of her, and very impressed.

After the show, we met up with Curby's parents who had driven down from Arlington to see Curby and meet me. We had a lovely evening eating dinner and then wandering around the town of Gruene (incidentally, where Willie Nelson was discovered). The next morning, Curb's parents joined the Fergasons, me and Curby, at church and then we had a lovely barbeque lunch back at the Ferg's house. Later that evening, Sarah and Myles joined us and we got to have a great visit with them, too.

Monday evening came too soon and Curby and I said a tearful farewell (on my part ) to my second family, as we headed back to LA. Pictures below.

Philly(ing) up my Soul - March, 2011

2011-06-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

I tell you what, friends. By early March I was due for some Soul Filling. I needed to see some friends and have some good times with them. Its not for nothing that I look forward to the NASPA student affairs conference every March. This is a great opportunity to at least get together with my friend Matt, and usually a few other good friends from Baylor, while hanging out in a new city and recharging our batteries (and occasionally, attending a few sessions on student affairs-related topics).

I roomed with my friend Jessica for most of the trip. Jessica is a great friend of mine from here at UCLA and it was fun to get to introduce her to my Baylor friends and hang out with her in the evenings! Matt and I got into Philly first, so we spent a day together, exploring Philadelphia - we walked from the convention center down toward the famous Art Museum, where Rocky ran up the steps, then we kept walking and eventually go to the penitentiary that once housed Al Capone. Later we met up with our friend Katie, and ended up at a bar around up by our hotels, just hanging out with some other friends who were in town and getting caught up.

The next days, we spent time exploring Philadelphia, making memories, attending conference session, and one night, by sheer luck and blessing of the Lord, ended up back at the bear from earlier in the weekend - and it happened to Karaoke and $6 pitcher night. What tremendous fun! We were even joined by our old professor, Frank Shushok, who enjoyed himself along with the rest of us - it is fun that we get to be colleagues now!

Overall, Philly lived up to my expectations. I left exhausted with not getting enough sleep and drinking too much beer - but completely refreshed emotionally. Below is a photo album of some of the pics from the trip. Enjoy!

Meeting Curby

2011-06-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Here is the (long) story of how "Tiff met Curby"

My friend Jessica told me I needed more dates. And then she said, "Just sign up for this site - OKCupid.com." We were gchatting on St. Patrick's day. I was disappointed because this guy I had gone out with a couple times had turned out to be a dud and I had no plans that night nor for the weekend ahead. I had also had two beers.

So I did it. While she and I gchatted, I filled out my profile, answered 200 questions and then let the math algorithm of the site do its work.

And it found me a few matches. There were a few highly matched men, many in the mid-to high 90's. Then there was this one guy who was a 99.4% match.

He looked pretty cute, and as I read his profile, I thought, "Hmmmm, he seems pretty cool and thoughtful. He seems to love Jesus and have a good sense of humor, and I think he's pretty smart." So I emailed him.

This is what I said that evening (Thursday):
Hey there Cap,
I enjoyed your profile for the following reasons:
1) your overuse of the letter I to the point of your keyboard failing.
2) your affection for HP7 - though I'll be honest that 5 was my favorite because I felt like the spiritual idea of fighting for something good was so clear.
3) you made me smile while simultaneously made me think that my (newly created) profile was not nearly cool or thoughtful or funny enough.
So check out my profile - and consider that in reality I am much more um, cool, thoughtful, and funny than that... Unlike most recent movies, I am much better in 3d than in 2. :)
Lets talk. Tiffani

I emailed some other men, too. And then I waited.

I heard back from Curby early Saturday morning:

If you are more cool, thoughtful, and funny than your profile, I'm going to have to stockpile more electronics ... I almost launched coffee onto my keyboard when I read about your gchat studying!
I like you, let's talk indeedy :)
Curby

So I wrote him back a long email with some random conversation starters and stuff, later that day. And he wrote me back a long email on Sunday and totally "got" my sense of humor. He sent me his phone number in case I wanted to call him. I wrote him back that night and included my phone number, saying "I appreciate you giving me yours though, so now I'll know its you if you call/text."

He called me on Monday night. We talked for an hour and it was so fun and easy. Before the end of the conversation, he asked me out for the following Saturday. I had made tentative plans for that Saturday, though, so had to say "maybe." My friend, Jenn, and I had talked about going to this Salsa dancing thing some friends were putting on, but when I talked to her the next morning, she said she was unable to go.

Curby had asked me for a movie, but when I mentioned what Jenn and I had planned to do, he said, "That sounds fun, even though I'll be really bad at it, and would be a much better first-date story than a movie!" So we decided on dinner and salsa. Right then, I knew that he was going to be a pretty cool guy - how many guys WILLINGLY go dancing on a first date?

We texted some, and talked on the phone the next few days, and it was just fun and easy. Even talking to him on the phone was something I looked forward to and felt like we were really learning about each other, not just making conversation. His texts made me laugh and I learned he had a great, goofy sense of humor and was really thoughtful and intentional about his life.

Saturday arrived and I was nervous. I had woken up that morning and remembered the tail end of a dream I had where I was an old lady telling the story of my life and I said, "From then on we were Tiff and Curby." I scolded myself, "Tiffani, settle down! You are putting way too much pressure on this first date!" The thing was, I liked him A LOT on "paper" - what if one of us didn't like the other when we met in person?!?! So I asked some of my friends to pray that our feelings - whether for or against - were mutual.

He arrived to pick me up, with flowers, and after about 15 seconds of akwardness, it was clear that he was great and that we were going to have a terrific time. It was like peas and carrots. Like we had known each other forever.

We had dinner and danced and we had a great time. Curby asked me out for a second date for the following weekend, while we were dancing, and I said, yes. Afterward, we walked all around Santa Monica and ended up down on the pier. It was beautiful and we talked about our lives and family until it was almost 1am. At that point we decided, "wouldn't it be fun if we just stayed up all night and kept talking? that would be a great story!" So we did. While we were hanging out at my apartment, Curby said, "Saturday is too long to wait to see you again, I would like to take you out sooner." (I swooned and said, "Well, I'm only free on Monday." and so Monday it was.)

We had breakfast at Marie Callendars' (next to my apartment) and he left for his church, and I got ready for mine.

And that was that. From then on we've been together, like chocolate chips and cookies, like shoes and socks.

More to come on this, I'm sure. But now you know one of the reasons why I've been so absent on the blog lately!

In the meantime, please join me in my rejoicing and in praising the Lord for this good thing. We have both been so grateful and thankful for God's goodness in bringing us together. He has done more than either of us could ask or imagine. I am learning a lot about myself, about God, about my assumptions and my heart, and about what things I knew before this relationship and what things I realize now I didn't know. I'll have a post on my transition from adult-singleness to adult-coupleness soon. But other posts will likely come before that.

Thanks for reading, friends. :)

Curby and I on our first date.

Tiff's Life Lately

2011-06-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

Forgive me friends! I know that I have not been posting much in the last two months. Before that I was not doing a great job of keeping you updated, but I was at least posting.

Well, there have been a number of reasons that I could give you. But the main one is that I've just been swamped trying to balance everything in my life.

In the next few days, I'm hoping to post a bit more. And recommitting to posting small blurbs, just to get things posted. :)

Each of the following deserve their own posts and will get them! Coming soon:
* In mid-March, I attended the NASPA conference in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - it was great fun and I was reunited with some old Baylor friends and we hung out with some of our new friends from our respective colleges. A great time.
* Shortly after that, I met a new guy, Curby. We had the best first date ever, and have been together ever since. We're heading up on three months together now, and my life has continued to improve with this great blessing from God.
* Curby came with me, a few weeks later, to visit the Fergasons where we had a GREAT time seeing Andilin at her horse show (she performed excellently) playing the Wii with the kids, and hanging out with John and Karen Fergason. We also got to spend some time with Curby's parents. It was really fun.
* In mid-May, I hosted my mom for a week at my house when our annual-ish Girl's Weekend turned into a "Girl's Week!" We hung out with Curby, took a few cooking classes, played games, and just generally enjoyed being together.
* In late-May, I flew out to St. Louis to celebrate the marriage of Heather (Caddell) and Jason Wickersham! It was a joyous occasion and I was blessed to be a bridesmaid. Curby was able to join in the festivities and I got to show him my old haunts and introduce him to some good friends.
* In early-June, my parents drove out to LA to help celebrate the graduation of my friend Jessica - who they think of as a second daughter, and who has been a dear friend of mine here in LA. We had a great time celebrating her accomplishments so far and the almost-completion of her dissertation.

Phew! That brings us up to date on all the big happenings of the last three months. I leave you now to being writing some individual posts - complete with pictures of those individually! Enjoy! and thanks for sticking around during my long absence!
*

Crafting Quilts

2011-04-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

When I was back in Indianapolis last fall for the ASHE (association for the study of higher education) conference, my friend Candice announced her pregnancy. This was a time of much rejoicing for us as we had been praying together for the Lord's blessing of a baby for her and Collin, among other things. So although it meant that Candice could not drink with us, she was an excellent chaperone, and we raised many toasts to her, Collin, and baby (for now called Jabar).

I love making baby crafts. For some of my friends I make burb rags and bibs. For others, I make baby quilts. I expect that for others, someday, I'll be making stuffed animals or baby clothes.

Candice and Collin live in England, and will be living there for at least another year, maybe longer. This poses a huge problem for all of us, because we want to be able to meet the baby and love on him... alas, who knows when that will happen. And so I decided that for the Bullards I would make a special gift of a baby quilt so that at least when they wrap up Jabar, its sort of like I'm there.

I found this quilt kit at my favorite JoAnn Fabrics Super Store... which is like 25 miles north of me, in the valley. I thought the colors were great, but the patterns on the top were kind of classic and grown up - which I loved, but it didn't feel very "baby", so I was nervous. The backing fabric was a flannel brown gingham, not unattractive, but not baby at all! As I was wandering around the store, I found the perfect backing fabric..... bright green to coordinate with the colors/patterns on top, and monkeys all over it. For some reason, any baby of Collin's screams "MONKEY!" to me.

Ultimately, I decided that this blanket would be perfect - the front is classic and classy - like Candice, the back is whimsical and funny - like Collin (actually both descriptions fit them both, but that is what I was thinking as I made it). I machine quilted the batting into the middle (previously, I had not included batting in the baby quilts, but since Jabar will be living in England, where it's cold a lot, I decided it needed the batting), and then cut and sewed on the blanket binding.

This was also the first time I made blanket binding on my own. I was going to use premade binding, but because I was anxious to get it finished and I didn't have it on hand, I went ahead and made it... I was pretty proud of myself, actually, that I was able to figure out how to do it. Now I think that I might just be willing to make binding again in the future!

Well, enough about me and the process. Here is the quilt! I'm so excited to be able to share it with you (It just arrived in Cambridge on Tuesday)!

Movie Review: The Adjustment Bureau

2011-03-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

What if you met someone randomly, but after a moment knew that you were destined to be with them forever? What if the world were designed so that you could never be together, despite what you know in your heart? The Adjustment Bureau asks these questions while offering a sincerely romantic look at what it means to pursue your destiny.

Confession: I've never read a Philip K. Dick story. Not one. I didn't even know who he was until I started hearing about this movie. When I did hear of him, I heard that he was a noted sci-fi author, and based on that info, and the previews, I thought the Adjustment Bureau looked like something from that genre, with a little romance thrown in (did I ever tell you how my mom tried to convince me Under Siege was a romance so I would watch it with her?). I'm not normally one for major Sci-Fi-ish movies, but here is what lured me in about The Adjustment Bureau:
* Matt Damon
* Love
* Weird premise of people being "adjusted"
* Matt Damon
* Emily Blunt being so beautiful in the previews
* It looked kind of action-y
* Matt Damon
So you can imagine how excited I was when I heard from multiple sources (my parents, and the three hands) that this story was way more romance than sci fi.

The Adjustment Bureau follows Senate hopeful David Norris as he meets, loses, meets again, loses again, and maybe meets again his possible true love, Elise. At each step of the way, there are enigmatic men wearing fedoras who are talking with each other, watching the happenings and seemingly interested in the happenings for some reason. The role these be-capped men play in the lives of Emily and David, and ostensibly almost everyone in the world, is soon revealed and our hearts are broken along with our Hero's as we learn that following hard after love involves making sacrifices.

That's all I'm going to say about the story for now, because I want you to go into it without knowing too much. Its the themes I really want to talk about.

First, the theme that we don't have free will (or rather that we sort of have free will on the little things, but not the big things). This made me think a lot about the tensions between free will and predestination. In the movie, the plan is constantly changing - but the bible teaches us that we have a God who is outside of time and who knows the end from the beginning. So is the plan really changing? or are all these adjustments part of the fabric of it all?

Second, the theme that love is worth pursuing for against all. Agree. Wholeheartedly agree, and biblically speaking, I think this is verified. God pursues us to the ends of the earth. When we pursue him back, that is even better. True also in human love - as imperfect as it can be - mutual pursual is awesome and to know that someone made life choices based on their hopeless (because they may never see you again) love for you is pretty amazing.

Finally, the theme that we write our own story. I've been talking about this lately with a new friend, and I like that throughout this movie there are moments where Matt Damon's character refuses to believe that the story written for him is his story. He sees a different story, and sets out to write it for himself and for his love. While I believe fully in the providence and authority of God, I think that he also wants us to be walking out in faith and writing our story. He's like the ghostwriter, shaping it, guiding it, directing it, but in our day to day lives, as we seek to love him and serve others, we are writing our story.
Example: God tells us to love the downtrodden. There are a lot of ways I can do that. But for my story, one of the ways I want to do it is to know the homeless people in my neighborhood. I want to know their names and visit with them when I am on the way to the bus in the morning. In writing my own story of who I will be, I want to be the women who loves the downtrodden by acknowledging their humanity, by treating them like a person, like a friend. Somehow in those moments, I am both fulfilling God's perfect plan for me and being an author of my life.

Check out the Adjustment Bureau, for sure. I give it five spilled coffees out of five and think that it may end up on my Stranger than Fiction shelf as a go-to romantic favorite.

Disclosure one: My friends over at The Three Hands in the Popcorn Bag site also reviewed this movie - and frankly reviewed it really well. Check it out if you want more info: http://www.thethreehands.com/?p=1256.

Disclosure two: I saw this movie on a date with my new fella, and so I was probably predisposed to enjoy the romantic nature of the movie, but the fact is, I would have loved it anyway. I think we all want to be pursued, and we all want a love that is worth pursuing, so this movie was going to win me over no matter what.

Book Review: The Convenient Groom by Denise Hunter

2011-03-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

"The Convenient Groom" is the most recent in the series of Nantucket Island stories by Denise Hunter. Dr. Kate is an advice columnist and psychologist who has just written a book for all the single ladies, titled "Finding Mr. Right-For-You." As a fun aside, each chapter includes a little witty word on finding Mr. Right from Kate's book.

The good news for Kate? The book is scheduled to release on the same day as her wedding to Bryan. The bad news? Today is her wedding day, and Bryan just called to tell her that he's in love with someone else. Enter Lucas, Kate's landlord, who overhears the call and suggests that she marry him instead. After all, what is the worst that can happen?

I had previously reviewed "Love Letters", just over a year ago, from the same series, and I can tell you that I enjoy her characters, and the settings of her stories. But I can also tell you that the whole time I'm reading I just want those same characters to talk to each other. In my review of Love Letters, I wrote "Stop messing around people. Let’s just get honest with each other..." and I felt the same way in this story. Lucas loves Kate, but doesn't tell her - instead suggesting he'd be willing to marry her if she'd help his parents with free marital counseling. Kate (as you might suspect) begins to love Lucas, but can't reveal her feelings because of fears from her past.

I get it. I do. I get that its hard to talk about our feelings. And that in a marriage, and in a dating relationship, it can be hard to know what is OK to say and what isn't. It can be hard to be transparent about our feelings because we don't want to be rejected. But I don't want to live my life that way, at least as much as possible I don't, and so while I enjoy these books, they sort of frustrate me.

The bottom line: Hunter writes good characters and authentic-feeling friendships and family relationships, but I wish that the hero and heroine would have their conflict throughout the book - with each other, instead of within their heads. I think that would make the story of Kate and Lucas more honest, more instructive, and ultimately tell us more about God's loving nature (which based on the discussion guide is a key part of the story of Lucas' love for Kate).

I rate The Convenient Groom 3.5 bon mots out of 5. If you enjoy sweet Christian romances, you'll probably enjoy this one, but be prepared that you might be shouting at the main characters to just talk to each other already.

*** In the interest of full disclosure, I was provided with a copy of this book for free from Bethany House Publishers, in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. If you are interested in reviewing books for Bethany House, click here. If you are interested in being a part of Book Sneeze (a review program for Thomas Nelson) check out the tag on the right side of the blog. ***

I'm a romantic.

2011-03-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

OK, I'll admit it. I'm a romantic. I'm a sucker for romance - not always in the traditional bring me roses and fawn all over me way (but that is nice) but I'm a romantic about little things, like when you text me a picture of something you made because you want to share it with me, or like when you smile while patiently teaching me something. I'm a romantic for when you say I'm tired, but I want to see you, so lets find a way to sit on a couch together and not talk but just enjoy each other's space.

My mom would say that all this romantic-ness is perfect for me because I'm kind of dramatic.

She's right, I'm a dramatic romantic. I both love and hate the emotional roller coaster that exists within all relationships (not just love ones). I go high and low and want to hit the panic button and eject one minute and want to suggest we get married (or live next door to each other if we are just friends) in the next.

I chalk it up to the amount of books I read. I do read some romance novels, sometimes. If the characters are good. But I also read lots of other fiction: mystery, legal thrillers, suspense. Lots of drama in those (and also sometimes romance and friendship).

Anyway, recently my friend Kristen reposted this word of "advice" over on her blog. And I found myself loving it - in a romantic, idyllic, "yes love me this way!" kind of way. I've now reposted it below. Enjoy.

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.” (Reposted from: — Rosemary Urquico (via themonicabird))

A Million Miles (in a thousand years) - out now on paperback!

2011-03-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

I first came across Donald Miller's writing when Scotty (the head coach I worked for at Greenville) was sent a review copy of "Blue Like Jazz" - he asked me to read through it and let him know if it was worth reading. I did so, and found that Miller had explained my west coast experience with Christianity in a way that I was struggling to do, and it blessed me, taught me, and helped me to communicate better with my midwestern community.

Since then I've been a big fan and am excited to check out his latest release: A Million Miles (in a thousand years). Check out the video below, and then check out the book - you can order it online starting today!

Are you living a great story with your life? from Donald Miller on Vimeo.

Book Review: Saint Francis (Christian Encounters Series) by Robert West

2011-03-01T22:47:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I should know better. After trudging through "Isaac Newton" (of this same series), I decided to take a stab at reviewing a another. Unfortunately for me, my love of biographies has not really extended to this series. Despite that, I will try to provide you with enough information to make an informed decision about how you'll like this book.

I'll give West this, right from the beginning, he does a great job of painting a picture about what the world was like when Francis of Assisi was a young, wealthy man. His description is rich and he paints an interesting and compelling picture of what young Francis' life was like. More importantly, there are easy parallels to what some of our lives may have been like before we knew Jesus - we can see our own lives and how easily the enemy makes us think we have it all, and how the Lord intervenes in those moments to show us what we really have (or lack).

The main problem that I have with book is that the rich description that serves West well as a historian, does not move the story forward very quickly or easily. I felt like I was continually waiting to really see what this guy Francis of Assisi was about. Along the way, I understood that he believed strongly in a life of poverty and sacrifice, and he led others wisely. But I have to be honest - if I'm not sucked into the book by halfway through its 220 very small pages - then I just can't recommend it that highly. I don't know if I'm not connecting with this series because I've only read about men thus far, or if its the format, but I have to rate it 2 sheep out of 5.

** Full disclosure: I was provided with this book free of charge by Thomas Nelson, in exchange for my honest review. I have no other affiliation with Thomas Nelson. If you are interested in being a part of this program, click the "Book Sneeze" link to the right of the blog.

My Thoughts on Oscar Nominees

2011-02-26T09:42:00.000-08:00

Part of me wants to write full reviews of "The King's Speech" and "The Fighter" - not to mention "The Social Network," "Inception," "The Kids are Alright," and "Toy Story 3" (my review of True Grit is below) - but the Oscars are tomorrow and I have to work on some school work at some point today.

What I will do, though is provide you with brief blurbs on each of the movies listed above, and give you my apologies that I did not attempt to see Black Swan, Winter's Bone, or 127 hours before Feb 27th. Some of those movies just seemed to dark for me, and for the other, I just ran out of time. Forgive me?

I will ALSO provide you with my votes for the main Oscar races. Oh yeah, baby, now you're about to increase your chances of winning your office Oscar pool by about 7.6%. (Or you would have been, had I submitted this prior to the weekend)

The King's Speech: I thought this movie was phenomenal. I loved so much about it, for more reasons even just that Collin Firth was in it. This was a chance for him to not play a buffoon, but instead to come to the screen with gravitas and heart - and he brought it!. Similar to last year's "A Single Man" - for which Firth received his first best actor nod - Firth is allowed to express his emotion and really stretch himself. I also loved the relationship between Bertie and his wife (the terrifically poised Helena Bonham Carter), and between him and Lionel, his speech therapist. I learned about England and WWII, and enjoyed watching someone overcome a limitation. Five microphones out of five.

The Fighter: Standout performances from Christian Bale and Melissa Leo make this movie for me. I thought the story was great - the tension that Micky Ward feels as he tries to become his own man, torn between his love for his brother and his family and the love and support of a woman. I also loved that this story (like King's Speech) was based on a true story. Watching the Ecklund and Ward family come apart and then come together was exciting and moving, and I was surprised at how little I minded the boxing aspect, even though sometimes I had to close my eyes. Five half-shirts and shots of scotch out of 5.

The Social Network: If this is how it all really happened, then wow. The problem is, because it is based on "real events" it makes people think that this IS really how it all happened - rather than one perspective on the cah-ray-ziness that is the Facebook story. I thought that the supporting cast in this movie was particularly strong. I don't much care for Jesse Eisenberg, because I felt like he was so wooden in the movie and I think that doesn't ring true for me. However, as a whole, great film, worth watching, and will get you thinking about your use of the web in general, and facebook for sure. Three friend requests out of five.

Inception: Loved it. Memento is one of my favorite suspense movies, and Inception was like it for the way that Christopher Nolan bent time and space to create alternate realities. I enjoyed this movie a lot, but in my mind it does not reach the heights overall of The Fighter or The King's Speech. Leonardo DiCaprio continues to be enjoyable as an actor and a friend of mine and I were saying that he is becoming so versatile that we think his real acclaim (in terms of awards etc) won't be until later in life. He is like a Henry Fonda or a Robert DeNiro, great and notable in their youth, but outstanding in their adulthood (Little Fockers not withstanding). Very entertaining and for sure worth your $$ at the Redbox. Four levels out of five.

The Kids are Alright: Outstanding acting and a dramatic and interesting plot elevated this movie to an Oscar nomination. Annette Bening and Julianne Moore were really excellent as a married couple, and I think portrayed a very realistic view of what marriage can be, in all the ups and downs. Their fights, in particular, we so realistic that by the time we got to them, and to the subsequent slow reconciliation, I was right there along with them. I didn't love the adultery theme/aspect of the movie. I think it would have been equally as strong without it, with just the tension of the sperm dad in the family, but then again, I could do will less adultery in movies in general. Four bottles of wine out of five.

Toy Story 3: It was a sweet movie that managed somehow to both capture the imagination while also providing closure for anyone who is going through a transition that involves leaving something/someone dear behind. I can't say it was my favorite movie of the year (or the best picture winner) but it was delightful and I loved it. 3-D didn't add much for me, but it was used appropriately. Four big babies out of five.

And now on to my pics to "win it all" - acknowledging that I have not seen all the movies/performances nominated - - - these are just my opinions, based on what I did see. Oh, and only for the categories for which I really understand the meaning (i.e. I don't know what art direction is, so I'm not listing a prediction here).

Best Picture: The King's Speech
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Colin Firth (esp. after last year's nom, I think they'll give it to him)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Christian Bale
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Annette Bening (though I suspect there could be upsets here)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Melissa Leo (though I want Hailee Steinfeld to win)
Cinematography: Inception (though I would have nominated The Fighter)
Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland
Director: Tom Hooper for the King's Speech (going with it, though David O.Russell (the fighter) is my close second
Editing: The Fighter
Music (original score): Inception
Writing (adapted screenplay): Social Network by Aaron Sorkin (that dialogue was wicked good)
Writing (original screenplay): The King's Speech by David Seidler

There ya have it friends! What are your pics for the awards? What did you think of the movies above?

A Tribute to: Adam Baldwin

2011-01-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

Adam Baldwin has been in a number of movies over the span of my lifetime. But I'll be honest, I've kind of loved him since he starred with Matt Dillon in "My Bodyguard" in 1980. In case you've never seen this movie (and shame on you...) http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3216966937/.

"Tiffani, you were six," you might be thinking, and OK, you're right, I didn't see it in the theater - but I remember it vividly from TV in my elementary/middle-school-ish years. And thus I fell in love. Baldwin's character was the strong silent type, wounded, holding onto a secret.

He has had a productive career since then, gotten lots of work throughout the years. My particular favorites are small roles in Independence Day, and cameos on shows like Bones and NCIS. He's one of those actors that I see in little places and think, "Golly, I wish he'd get some regular work." Meanwhile, I apparently wasn't watching any Josh Whedon TV programs, since had recurring roles in both Angel and Firefly.

He's been on Chuck (the story of a regular guy who becomes a spy) since its beginning about 3+ yrs ago. He plays Commander Casey, a former army soldier who now is a spy for the CIA. As Casey, Baldwin is gruff, funny, tough, and soft. He plays the role with just the right amount of comedic gravitas and tough guy power. Its like My Bodyguard all over again.

Don't get me wrong, I think Zac Levi, as Chuck, is adorable, goofy and good-natured - and if I got the chance to hang out with him, I think he'd be a pretty cool, regular dude. But everytime Baldwin gets a chance to be on camera, I go back to my childhood and fall in love again.

If you haven't done so yet, check out Chuck on NBC on Mondays. Even more - if you haven't seen it, queue up My Bodyguard on Netflix and enjoy a great story and Adam Baldwin doing what he does best - right at the beginning of when he was doing it.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, he's no relation to those other Baldwins)

Discomfort and Blessing

2011-01-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

From the morning reading of the Daily Light, January 7: Thus says the LORD: "I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal, when you went after Me in the wilderness." I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish and everlasting covenant with you. I will visit you and perform My good word toward you. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Nehemiah 5:19; Jeremiah 2:2, Ezekiel 16:60; Jeremiah 29:10-11)

Recently I sent a text message to a young friend of mine on his birthday. In the text I said, "Excited to see what the Lord has in store for you this year!"

His reply: "Thanks Tiff. My guess would be discomfort or really just opposite of what I would typically want! :)"

I laughed at his reply - as he had intended and reflected with him how that has often been my experience, but not necessarily the general rule.

This morning as I read the scriptures listed above, I was both encouraged and frustrated. Encouraged because I know those scriptures to be telling the truth. I know God loves me and thinks his good word toward me. I believe that God is keeping his covenant with me. And I trust that His plans will bring me to a good end, not an evil one.

I was frustrated because I can remember how often my will, the future and the hope that I want for myself, has not been fulfilled. And it made me think of that text message from my young friend.

This morning as I encounter the world, and God in the world, I want to remember that much of walking with Christ is about my attitude toward my experiences. Like little Much Afraid, who met the Great Shepherd's will with fear and trembling at first and later with acceptance and joy, I need to continually place my trust in the Shepherd's love for me. Trusting him is the only way that I can agree with what the prophets wrote thousands of years ago.

However, I don't have to let is be uncomfortable or the opposite of what I want. The Scriptures tell us that if we seek God, we will come to know him, we will find him - that if we obey God, he will love us and show himself to us. The real question for me is, what do I value more - God and his love for me, or my secret hopes and plans? If I was being honest, its most often the latter. I value my hopes and plans and hope that in God's love for me, he will provide them. But this kind of conditional love is out of sync with the Gospel, which tells us simply to love God and then love others. The chief end of man, the catechism says, is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. If that is really true, then my attitude is the only thing that separates my experience of God as a cruel taskmaster who wants to humiliate me from my experience of God as a benevolent father who is using every encounter as a teaching experience.

Reflecting on her experience living and writing "Hinds Feet on High Places", Hannah Hurnard said, "Everything around me seems to have been designed to emphasize this lesson. I have been brought to a place where all God's creation appears to be uttering things in a language which only becomes clearly audible and understood by hearts that have been learning in the school of suffering. It is the language which one begins to spell out in one's innermost soul when one is on a cross to which self is being transfixed by nails of pain and anguish of heart."

All humans will suffer. That is evident around us in so many ways. But as a follower and lover of God, my best response is to believe that these sufferings (or in some cases, just these little discomforts or denials of my hopes/expectations) are truly good. Can I meet God's path with acceptance and joy? Can I believe in 2011 that God really is working toward my good, to give me a hope and a future - even though that future may not look as I had expected or planned or intended? Can you?

Lord I want to go to heaven.... but I don't want to go tonight....

2010-12-29T07:13:00.000-08:00

The title of this post comes from a Joe Diffie song called "Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die" - I think that it is pretty emblematic of a number of Christians that I know, and frankly, of myself on frequent occasions.

This morning I read the following article in Relevant magazine:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/blog/23924-everyone-wants-to-go-to-heaven-just-not-yet

in which the author offers up an opinion piece about what it means to really be a Christian and look to heaven as our daily destination - rather than a place we'll go once we "reach our earthly goals."

This article really resonates with me, because so many of my friends have said things to me like "Well, I really want Jesus to come back - but I want it to be after I get married (read: have sex) and have kids." And my internal response to this comment (ok, sometimes my external response, too) is always, "Really?!?!"

I think that this shows how little we really think or know about what it will be like to be in heaven, or on earth for that matter. We completely underestimate the grace of God on earth and the presence of God in heaven.

In "The Four Loves" C.S. Lewis says "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

When I first read the quote above, it really struck me how little I had been letting God infuse my day to day life. (I often still live this way, mud pies and all) And as I grew in Christ, I was continually reminded through scripture and prayer and experience, how much better heaven is and will be than this earthly coil.

As I experience my friends' marriages and learn about their struggles, I see that heaven will be a LOT better. (even better than the best marriages) As I play with my friends' children and enjoy their presence, I see the heaven will be a LOT better. Heaven will even be better than the feeling I get when my dog rushes to greet me when I come home.

I mean a LOT better.

But when we are living here on this planet, its really hard to remember that day in and day out. We get sort of coated with the reality of earth, lulled - like Dorothy in a sea of poppies - into thinking that the best of earth is the best there is anywhere. I think this is one of the devil's best tricks. If we can be convinced that the best there is is the best there is on earth, we will turn our heads aside from heaven, and ultimately God, and be satisfied with the mud pies.

My friend Karen always says that its like we are drinking glasses of toilet water when the freshest, coldest waterfall is right next to us just waiting to fill our glasses.

So for 2011, my prayer for me and for you, friend, is that we would enjoy what we have on earth, but only in the context of what we will have in heaven. That we will look expectantly toward God's coming with joy and not live in fear that God will return "before I have sex" or "before I get pregnant" or "before Baylor wins the Women's NCAA tourney" whenever any of those things may be. May instead we pray with the disciple: Come quickly Lord Jesus and do not tarry.

True Grit (Movie Review)

2010-12-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

Last night my parents and I headed up over to the Cine Capri in Scottsdale to see True Grit. My mom remembered the original fondly, and was convinced that my dad and I would like it (despite neither of us having seen the original).

The story is that a man is killed by a drifter, and the man's 14yr old daughter, Maddy, decides that it is her responsibility to see the man caught and brought to justice - since no one else seems to care. She hires a drunken US Marshal, named Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), to search for the killer. She says that he's the one she chooses because he has "true grit." Along the way, they team up with and spar with a Texas Ranger named Le Beouf (Matt Damon).

The dictionary defines grit as "indomitable spirit or pluck" - which ironically, is the thing that the young woman has in spades and that by her sheer presence others develop or display. In some ways, this young woman reminds me of Anne Shirley (of Green Gables fame) whose very outlook on life causes others to reconsider how they've been living. While Maddy does not have Anne's happy outlook on life, she does have a courageous sense of justice and stubborn opinion about how justice should be pursued. When others balk at her resolve or question her decision to find the killer, she fixes them with a steely-eyed gaze that shames them into going along with her plan. Along the way, she grows up a bit, and melts the hearts of the hardened men along the road.

As expected from the Coen brothers, the cinematography is great, and the script is very tight. There are beautiful landscapes of the plains, forests, and mountains. There are lots of moments of silence and staring, but somehow it doesn't seem uncomfortable or awkward. Maddy is charming and watching it, you desperately want her to succeed on her quest. Rooster is hardened, but as in all good stories, has a soft heart. La Beouf is a braggart, but funny, and brave.

True Grit is definitely one of my favorites of 2010. I give it a solid 5 $10 ponies out of 5. See this one in the theater if you can!

Films of 2010

2010-12-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned my friends over at The Three Hands (www.thethreehands.com) before - they have a great movie review website (as well as other reviews, including books etc). They are total movie lovers, like me, and even though they like more zombie-related fare than I do (read: any), I find that for the most part, our movie sensibilities line up and so if the crew over there likes a movie, there is a good chance I will, too.

At the end of each year, the crew puts up their best/worst of 2010 lists. Included in one of the lists was the video above, which is pretty stinkin' awesome. Its a sort of compilation of clips and bites from this year's movies. TOTALLY worth checking out. You will love it.

Seeing their list made me think of the new movies that I've seen this year and what I thought of them.
(movies are listed based on their release date to theaters, not in the order in which I saw them - some of them were not viewed in theaters but instead on my DVD-player, laptop, or on an airplane)

Leap Year: Totally cliche, but still Matthew Goode is hot and it made the flight back from London almost bearable (despite my annoying seat-neighbor).
The Book of Eli: I loved it. You can check out my review of it on the blog. Others did not like it. They are wrong.
When in Rome: Totally cliche also, but Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel make up for it because of their combined hotness. Frankly, this movie was ridiculous, but it made me laugh a lot as I winged my way across the atlantic toward London.
Valentine's Day: Disappointingly average on first viewing, improves marginally with second viewing. A better use of your time would be to re-watch Love Actually instead.
Bounty Hunter: Average, but also improves marginally with second viewing. There are some funny moments, but mostly Gerard Butler is not a very good comedic actor - I think its the way he has to super-enunciate to try to sound American.
Babies: OMG. My mom and I just watched this movie and it was so stinking adorable and fascinating. Makes me want to adopt approximately 12 babies. Loved it.
Clash of the Titans: I thought it was alright - not as cheesy as the original, and included some fun elements. I saw it in 2D (on the plane, with annoying seat-neighbor interrupting me) and thought it was probably improved by being in 2D rather than remastered 3D (even though a friend of mine worked on the 3D conversion).
Last Song: Cheesy but sweet. I cried at the end, and not because the movie starred Miley Cyrus.
Date Night: I actually saw this movie on a first date. I enjoyed it a lot - except that my date kept trying to do weird things like feed me popcorn. Yes, seriously. Steve Carrell is not the most believable actor, but because he and Tina Fey will pretty much say or do anything for a laugh, I liked it and laughed a lot.
Iron Man 2: Not as good as the first, but still entertaining and exciting.
Sex and the City 2: I was forced to go to this movie by the girls in my bible study. Pretty much hated this movie more than any other movie I've seen in the last 10 years, and I saw "The Forgotten", so you know that I hated this movie. Don't see it, and if your wife/girlfriend/sister/mom/friend wants you to see it, turn and run.
The A-Team: I loved it. Don't hate on me, haters, I laughed, I was suspensed (is that a word), and some of those dudes are hot. I will totally see at least one more in this franchise if not all of them (but I will not see any of them in 3D if it comes to that).
Toy Story 3: A sweet romp through childhood. I won't buy these movies, probably, but I enjoyed seeing it a lot.
The Switch: Now this is a Jennifer Aniston movie that I could love. I love Jason Bateman, and this story - though predictable - was also just so sweet and funny.
Social Network: Mixed feelings here. This movie was brilliant, and the actors were incredible. The story was good and at the end, you are left with a lot of questions and suppositions. For me, at the end, I had a spiritual lesson on the price of Pride and trying to prove your worth to someone.
Life as We Know It: OK, yes, I know this cheesy Heigel/Duhamel flick didn't look that great, and yes, it was pretty predictable. But I got some good laughs, and thought that Heigel's grief scene in the beginning after she finds out her best friends have died was really terrific. (Duhamel's? Not so much)
Megamind: I had high hopes, they were dashed. There were a few funny moments, and a good message, but overall just average.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (p1): Was pleasantly surprised at how faithful this movie was to the book, and at how they managed to recover after leaving out key info from book/movie 6. Not my favorite movie of the series, but still very good.

2010 movies I will be seeing in theaters in the next two weeks:
True Grit
Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

There were also a lot of 2009 movies that I watched in 2010. The best of them are the following:

The Hurt Locker

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Whip It!

Precious

Crazy Heart

Movies I should have seen (or want to see) and which are already on my Netflix queue so that my errors can be rectified as soon as they are released on DVD: (or which I may see in theaters, should they still be around when I get my act together)
The Town
Despicable Me
Secretariat
Red
Inception
King's Speech
Unstoppable

My Dad on TV!

2010-12-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends!!

I'm so excited to tell you that my dad was on TV this morning, singing with the Phoenix Symphony Chorus. Dad has been a part of a number of choruses. He was part of the Seattle Symphony Chorus when we lived in Seattle and then in Phoenix was a part of 4 or 5 different choruses, including the Phoenix Symphony Chorus, which sometimes performs with the Phoenix Symphony but frequently performs together without the symphony.

The Symphony Chorus has been featured on a number of local morning shows the last few weeks, in promotion of their upcoming series of concerts performing Handel's Messiah. However, today was the first day that my dad was free from school (its finals) and able to be there. Check out the interview below with the director of the Symphony, Michael Christie, and an excerpt from the Messiah performed by the Chorus. My dad is in the back row on the left!

Just in case you aren't sure what my dad looks like, here is a photo of me and dad from Ben's recent wedding.

"My name is ____ and I'm a ninth generation circus performer"

2010-12-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

I struggled with even how to title this post. I didn't it to be just about clowns or my long-held desire to be a clown. But I didn't know a circus-y phrase that would capture the spirit of what I'm about to tell you about.

People - listen to this: There is a miniseries on PBS (6-1hr episodes) called "Circus" - which documents the life in one year of the Big Apple Circus.

If you are like me, that sentence alone should be enough to make you want to check your local PBS listings and figure out how to carve 6 hours in order to watch this really fascinating show.

Just in case it isn't... here's a more elaborate review after having watched 2 gripping hours of this journey.

The Big Apple Circus is a "traditional one-ring European-style circus." This series is the story of all the people it takes to make a circus - from the talent who are the most obvious members of the circus troupe (trapeze artists, equestrian, clowns, jugglers, etc) to the producers and directors to the "ring crew" the people who really make the magic happen as the circus moves from town to town. You learn about their history, their lives, their performances, and how it all comes together. And its magical.

I'm not kidding - MAGICAL and fascinating. I wondered if watching this documentary would sort of ruin it for me. You know, that if I saw the "man behind the curtain" I would no longer believe in the Wizard. But if anything, it actually makes me love the circus MORE by seeing how it all comes together. The series gives you a glimpse into how the "circus people" live: the ring crew and staff live in basically "walk-in closets" (bunks and shelves, with no internal bathrooms) - food is provided for them by the circus; the producers/directors/performers live in RV's. The children attend school in a one-room schoolhouse (which is also a trailer). And people have real lives throughout the year, as you watch (one gets arrested, another becomes ill, etc). It gives you a glimpse into how the acts come together, how new people are trained, and how the show itself is shaped.

You can buy the series on PBS, if you know someone who would like it. Since PBS is in jeopardy around the country, it would be worth it to do so. But you can also watch full episodes online (as well as some exclusive web clips).

I give "Circus" five big tops out of five - for compelling drama, exciting athletics, and entertaining people. Check it out.

First - respond in the comments about what performer you'd like to be in a circus (if any) - or what your favorite part about the circus is!

Next - check out this clip, which is about clowns (because I've always wanted to be a clown and go to children's wards and cheer up kids):

Watch the full episode. See more Circus.

Finally, you can go to this website for more clips and full episodes.
http://www.pbs.org/opb/circus/video/

Week in Review

2010-11-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

Some of my blogging friends post review of their weeks or months and since my life has been so crazy lately that I haven't even been able to write the posts that I've started, I thought it might be fun to do a some week in review postings over the next few weeks just so that I can keep the blog updated.

So, here we go!

Last week was crrrrrazy!

Sunday: I had my last Sunday with the Growing Kids Sunday school class for a few weeks - it was INSANITY - 30+ kids and for a while, no parent helpers. Needless to say, I almost fell asleep during church I was so exhausted. Later, my friend Jessica and I watched Amazing Race together.
Monday: I worked a long day to make up for going out of town. I was asked to talk on the phone and to my coworkers less, which left a bad taste in my mouth as I headed home to pack for a trip to Phoenix.
Tuesday: 7 hours in the car with my dog, followed by a shopping trip with my mom where we found a great wedding outfit for her, jewelry and makeup. After grama went to sleep we got blizzards and it was like the best blizzard EVER! (It had truffles in it - enough said)

Wednesday: We celebrated my mom's 40th service anniversary with her company. We had a great time at her work, meeting her coworkers and hearing anecdotes about her awesomeness.

Thursday: Shopping with Grama at Goodwill stores around town. We had a good time and got her a pair of winter boots for $8 - score! Later that night, all three of us got dressed up and went downtown to hear my dad sing with the Phoenix Symphony Chorus. The concert was really good and we had really terrific seats on the main floor!

Friday: Grama, mom and I packed up the dogs and the car and headed to El Centro to get ready for Ben's wedding. (Dad joined us in the afternoon) We had a fun lunch with Ben, Isabel and Angel (my new nephew) and later, mom, dad and I took Angel out to dinner and a movie.

Saturday: My brother got married!!! Before that we had a fun lunch with some of my aunts and uncles, and we helped get all the details set up for the event. It was really awesome to see Ben so happy and in love and to know that he and Isabel are a good fit for each other.

Sunday: I had driven with my aunts back to San Diego after the wedding and so we spent a relaxing day exploring La Jolla and Coronado Island - the weather was great and we had some great laughs! Later, we watched the Amazing Race together.

It was a kind of exhausting week, but also really fun. This next week promises to also be exhausting but fun. I'll be posting about it next week.

Friday Fun!: Double Trouble

2010-10-28T22:33:00.000-07:00

Admittedly, these videos may only be fun for me, since I know all the people involved. But I have to say that the JibJab videos ALWAYS make me laugh and so I'm glad they have them for times other than just at Christmas.

Hopefully you don't hate "The Monster Mash" since both of these videos are set to that song...

Enjoy!

Video #1: My brother, his wife and my new nephew, me and my mom.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Video #2: the Ferg kiddos. Pixie, the "evil scientist" is only 20 months old, so I find this one particularly funny...

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Bonus Saturday video fun!

2010-10-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

Y'all know I'm a fan of the David Crowder*Band. For lots of reasons, but mostly because I think they make smart music that talks about God in ways that a wide variety of people can understand.

Well, recently they completed their music video for the song "SMS(Shine)" from their Church Music album which came out last year. The video has been getting a lot of notice because it was created using stop-motion animation and Lite Brites - over 700,000 pegs! I want it to keep getting noticed and I think you'll think it is as cool as I thought it was. Check it out, below!

Friday Funny! (10/22)

2010-10-22T07:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted a Friday Funny video in a while. Today I was thinking about the importance of punctuation in clear communication and it reminded me of this comedy routine by Victor Borge. Borge is quoted as saying, "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." - an idea I can totally agree with.

Enjoy today's video!

Murders and Mysteries (or: Why I will be a Flapper for every costume party for the next 4 years)

2010-10-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

My friend Jessica recently celebrated her birthday. I felt pretty excited to be invited to her birthday celebration which she decided would be a Murder Mystery Party.

First - it is important that you know how much I love murder mysteries.

I love them a lot.

I started reading Agatha Christie mysteries in 5th or 6th grade and never looked back. Since then I have read a ton of mysteries - though Agatha Christie and Dick Francis are still my favorite authors. (If you like mysteries, check out Break In and Bolt by Francis - two of my all-time faves)

Second - in the winter of 1998 (I think...) my friends and I had a murder mystery party set in the 1970s to celebrate New Year's Eve. We had a lot of fun and there were pictures taken, but sadly as they were in the days before digital, I am totally not sure where I could find one to scan and put in this post. The point of this second point is this: I like murder mystery parties!

Third: After purchasing all the ingredients for this costume, I decided that the financial investment means that I must be a flapper for at least the next few Halloweens (provided I dress up) and for any other costume-y adventure that comes my way for the next few years. Luckily, I love the costume!

So Jessica planned this party - set in the 1920s, during Prohibition. Her role was a Rosie Marie, the widowed owner of a speakeasy, The Juice Joint. Originally, I was slated to be the "Chief of Police", but because of a person getting sick, I ended up in the roll of "Molly Moll" - fiancee of Notorious Nick - mob boss of the Northside of town.

Highlights of the evening included:

* Jessica required a password for entry. Though many did not investigate to find out what the password was, I did, and it was fun to find the back entrance to the apartment and use my password to get into to the party.

* Everyone came dressed in costume and did a great job of being "in character"

* Getting to know some of Jessica's other friends and having a great conversation about religion with one of them.

Here are some photographic memories of the evening:

The Hostess and Molly

Bootleggers sometimes need some time alone.

I wasn't the murderer, but not for lack of trying....

Molly was an aspiring actress - here I am, ready for my closeup!

Me and my bohunky fake fiance. It was nice to be engaged for an evening.

Bat Mitzvah Fun (part 1)

2010-10-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I was privileged to attend the Bat Mitzvah events of my faculty advisor's daughter, Sami. The events included the Shabbat (Sabbath) service on Saturday morning, followed by a luncheon for those who attended the service. And then later that night there was a party/dinner for Sami's friends (and some of Linda and Norman's family and friends).

Late last spring, Linda asked me if I would be interested in helping her with the Bat Mitzvah details. Now lets be clear - she did all the work of planning and organizing. My role was simply this: help design/create the centerpieces (she even did this - I just took her ideas/vision and refined it), be at the temple on Friday to set up the tables for the luncheon, and then be present at the events on Saturday to make sure that everything went smoothly and ended up in the right places. This is the kind of job that, frankly, I do well - I'm good at details and I'm good at knowing what needs to be done and good at observing what is happening around the room. I don't always like to do it (like its not always my favorite job at weddings) - because to do it well, you have to be necessarily outside of the event. In this case, it was perfect, because I was outside the event - so I was able to observe and help while still enjoying the food and meeting people, but not feeling bad when I had to leave to run errands or take stuff to the car. For this particular job, we agreed on a fee that I would receive. We also agreed that if I could find a helper for Friday and/or Saturday that they would also earn a small fee.

Linda gave me some supplies to work with in designing the centerpieces. Because Sami had asked all the guests to bring art supplies to donate to a local not-for-profit organization, The Friendship Circle, the centerpieces were to be primarily art supplies (with three gerber daisy's each). I created a few design options for her and sent her the pics. We decided on one that she liked and then later she came over and we played around with it a bit in person.

Above is one of the centerpieces. You can see that its like a little garden of art supplies with three tall gerber daisies. For the luncheon, my friend Lisa was my helper. We set up an assembly line for the centerpieces and once they were done, we set them all on purple squares on the tables, with jelly beans. Adorable!

The reception hall looked totally beautiful after we got it all set up.

kids tables

the pretty purple tables

I loved that the tables for the kids just said "Samantha's Friends"

And the Jelly Belly's added so much brightness and fun to the table decorations.

the whole room

We used the extra centerpieces on the table-card table.


the table cards were adorable.

After the luncheon was cleaned up and loaded into the car and van, I went to Lindas and switched out the daytime stuff for the night time stuff. Then I ferried her and Sami on some errands. Later, I had about an hour break and so I stopped for a pedicure (in Beverly Hills, so I felt swanky). I really needed that pedi by then. The finished product looked great and I got to wear my DKNY shoes with pride. Double pride, really, because I only paid $8.50 for them at Ross!

Before I put on those dancing shoes, though, I helped set up for the dinner events. This deal was pretty easy (comparatively). I created centerpieces using the recovered daisies from the earlier luncheon, and using candy for the kids tables.

Tables for the grown ups....

Kids' tables

I think that Sami ended up having a really terrific time. She smiled non-stop the entire night - and most of the night I marveled at what it must be like to be 13 years old in 2010. Those kids were crazy!!

Linda and Sami

Sami and her brother, Jeremy

(another post to come about the Shabbat ceremony itself)

My commitment to ME!

2010-10-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not so motivated these days. I want to be, but I'm not. I think because there is a lot for me to do:

1) finish the CENS report for my summer job. (we'll say due 10/18)

2) finish the statistical analysis and writing of my Campus Spiritual Climate paper for the ASHE conference (due 10/22)

3) come up with some research questions/ideas for my dissertation (personal goal: due 10/28)

4) figure out how to do my dissertation (methods) (personal goal: due 10/28-ish)

5) finish the other two ASHE papers that I am presenting at the conference (due 10/22)

So here is my new commitment to me:
A) I will work diligently on these projects daily, following my pre-outlined schedule.
B) If I do work diligently, then I don't have to work in the evenings and I don't have to feel guilty about not working in the dark hours.
C) If I do work diligently, then I get to work on making some awesome sewing projects as my ministry to me. I just purchased the book Sew Serendipity and am excited to make some new clothes over the next few months.

On that note, I better get to work! I have 2 1/2 more hours before I get to stop for the day. Peace, peeps.

Rearranging (my secret love)

2010-10-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

If you've ever lived with me (and most of you haven't) you would know how much I like to rearrange furniture. Since you generally have to live in the same location for at least a year and often much longer, rearranging makes me feel like I"m in a new place. I love that with 30 minutes or so of work, you can gain an entirely new perspective on the room: what you see, what you don't see, and how much space you have.

On Friday morning, I helped my faculty advisor set up the reception hall at her Temple, for the luncheon that would follow Saturday's Bat Mitzvah. Afterward, I had to stop by Joanne Fabrics for some ribbon and then I knew that I should do some work on my conference papers.

But I had a wild hair (that's what we call it in my family at least). I had a vision for how the living room could be rearranged and I was unable to resist the siren's call to rearrange. Seriously, impulse control when it comes to rearranging is a weakness for me. The real problem is that I am the most effective worker when I am inspired, thus if I am inspired about the room, I need to just do it. The same is true with my writing - if I'm not inspired, it is drudgery and does not go well - however, when I am inspired, or have a vision for what I'm writing, it flows like crazy.

Well, here is a short video tour of my newly arranged living room. I'm not 100% sure that it will stick this way for three months (which is how long I have lived in the apartment and thus how long the original configuration lasted) but I do think that it will last until after Thanksgiving, as it seems to give a lot more space to the living room, where grama and I will be sleeping when I host the holiday weekend events.

What do you think?

What has two thumbs and 8 questions to answer? This girl!

2010-10-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

My friend Carrie tagged me in a post and assigned me 8 questions to answer. Here you go.....

1. What are five things in life you have not yet experienced that you definitely want to experience?
Marriage
Childbirth
Italy - in particular the wine country of Italy
A Cruise
Fly internationally in First Class

2. If you could be from anywhere in the world other than your hometown, where would you be from and why?
Well, the fact is that I love my hometown, so I don't really want to be from anywhere else. BUT - if I had been born somewhere else, I would want to be from Atlanta, Georgia. I think from the instant I read Gone with the Wind in 7th grade, I loved the south and wanted to live in Georgia. As an adult, its the people from the south - their friendliness and warmth - that really attract me to that area.

3. What scares you?
I watch too many police procedurals, I think, because one thing that really scares me are poorly-lit parking lots.

4. What is one vice that you know you could never give up?
Well, part of me says that I should say "TV". I think I could totally limit the amount of TV that I watch (often I have it on just for background noise) - but I don't think I could ever give up my TV completely.

5. What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
I was having a really rough time and one of my mentors said to me, "Your time of greatest trial always comes before your time of greatest use." At the time it was a good word for me, to help me see a light at the end of the tunnel and to remember that God can use all of our experiences for his good; he will redeem all things for His good and glory.

6. If you could do life all over again and only change one thing, what would you change?
I would have kept playing either the violin or flute through high school and beyond.

7. Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?
100% Kirk Cameron. I had a poster of him... on my ceiling.

8. What is your mission?
I prefer to think in terms of calling, rather than mission. I feel like my calling is to help college students discover their calling and a sense of purpose in their lives. Where possible, I want to help college students grow in their relationship with Jesus, or discover a relationship with him. I want to help them find freedom in Christ.
This response is also a little bit disingenuous because I actually do have a mission statement (see sidebar) but now that I am halfway through my PhD program, I am only certain of my calling - but not so certain about any specific mission. Hopefully in the next two years I'll be able to figure all of this out!

Ben's Getting Married!

2010-10-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

I think that most of you who are regular readers of Tiff's Life have only known me in my adulthood. That being the case, very few of you have met my younger brother, Ben. After college, I moved back up to Seattle while my parents and brother lived in Phoenix. Ben lived there until just recently and only visited me a handful of times in my various cities.

Ben has gone by a number of names over the years. Growing up he was Benji. In middle school, he switched to Ben. I have called him Benny, though, for a number of years. (And he is one of a very few people that I let call me Tiffy) Growing up, we both loved each other a ton and fought like cats and dogs. As adults, I love him so much and am super proud of him.

Wow, all that to say that just over 6 months ago, Ben got engaged to Isabel.

Isabel is a terrific woman - she's a great communicator, loves her family and is loyal to them, and she loves to have fun. Also, she really loves my brother. Isabel also has a young son named Angel, who is the sweetest and most enthusiastic little 7-year old I know.

Last weekend, I drove to El Centro (which is near the Mexican border in the southern tip of Cali) for Ben and Isabel's wedding shower. It was also my opportunity to meet my soon-to-be nephew for the first time. There aren't words for how excited I am for Ben and Isabel to get married, for Benny to be a dad, and for me to be an aunt. My mom drove over for the shower also (dad had a retreat for chorale so he had to miss it) and we had a nice mini girls weekend, also.

It was great to see Ben, who has lost about 70 lbs since I saw him last! I hadn't seen him in months and although he has been much better about calling and texting since he moved to EC, its not the same as seeing him in person. Isabel has also lost some weight and they both look really great!! I'm so impressed with the work they've been doing!

The wedding is November 13th. I'm super psyched to be able to attend their wedding and share that event with them. I'm even more excited that not only will my parents and I be there, but also my grama and a few of my aunts and an uncle. It will be great that so many of us will be there to celebrate with Ben, Isabel, and Isabel's family and all their friends.

Even more haps! September Edition

2010-10-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

The great part about September was that I didn't have to travel anywhere until right at the end.....

Here is a look at some of the September adventures!

Tiny and I went with some friends to "Dog Beach" in Long Beach.....

My parents came into town for Labor Day weekend and we went to "Let's Make a Deal"! Mom and dad dressed waffles and syrup. Jessica dressed as a Shark (her last name is Sharkness, so it was fitting) and I dressed as a referree!

Some adventures happened in the middle of September but I have no photographic record of them and my planner is far away, so I can't even tell you what they were....

Then I went to the Fergason's!!

I love them so much....

they blessed my heart with their smiles and laughter...

they shocked me with how big they are getting....

they blessed me with their total love of me and excitement with me being at their home...

and their gratitude for the gifts I gave them...

And then I got back to California and it was so hot my thermostat maxxed out.

More haps... August ed.

2010-10-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

August went by super quickly - before I knew it, it was over. But here is a quick recap of the happenings in August!

It seemed like Tiny might be getting cold on our morning walks, so I bought him a little fleece outfit. He subsequently stood and stared at me while wearing it - as if to say, "I hate you so much right now." After taking the picture, below, I got rid of it and decided that no cute outfit (or warm dog) was worth enduring that look again... :)

I flew to San Francisco in the 2nd week of August to participate in another wedding! Bethany and Ryan got married in a cute little wedding in a park in the city, near Lombard Street!

(at the bachelorette party, above)

The wedding crew visited Alcatraz - it was one of the best audio tours I've ever taken!

Bethany and Ryan bought us all San Francisco t-shirts as a "thank you" for helping with the wedding.

... and then they got married!

Near the end of the month, President Obama visited LA - his visit messed up the commute and we ended up walking halfway home from UCLA (below - the crew who joined me). We made it a fun experience by stopping for fro yo along the way.

To close out the month, my friend, Shark, and I headed to Griffith Park to see one of my favorite Shakespeare plays: Much Ado about Nothing!! She had not seen it before and we both enjoyed it a ton!

Last but not least, I bought a table!! Woo hooo!!!!!

What's the haps!? July Edition.

2010-10-03T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I was on a roll for a while... but then life ramped up and went crazy and while I was living it, I kept forgetting to update the blog.

Here are some pics from the last three months. Stories may come, I'm sure, over the next few weeks. Now that school is starting, my life is slowly getting back to normal (until November - but that is a post for another day) and so hopefully that means more posts!

In July, some friends and I took a girl's weekend trip to Santa Barbara. It was my first time there, and I loved the town!

My friend Chelsea turned 30 and we took in some hilarious improv comedy.... it just so happened that one of the actors was that guy who plays "Gabe" on the Office - so that was pretty sweet! (the next weekend on a hike, I ran into one of the other actors - LA is a small world)

I discovered the Venice Canals. Now one of my favorite places in LA.

And most excitedly, I traveled to Greenville and celebrated the marriage of TJ and Emily!! It was a great celebration of God's goodness and reunion of friends!

(above: the happy couple)

(below: some of the gals at the wedding reception - dancing fun was had by all!)

(below: some of my favorite former students - we were so happy to be reunited!)

(below: shortly after this event, Heather ("old roommate") would get engaged! Our happiness here is almost representative of how happy we are at the announcement of her engagement!)

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 8 (AKA: My Birthday!)

2010-08-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

I was lucky enough to get to spend my birthday in Ireland. I was even more lucky that I got to spend it with these three fun friends. In fact, I also spent my birthday with them last year, so now its a "tradition" and I have to figure out how to get back to the Continent next June!

On Monday morning, we left the Ballyeamon camping barn - sad to leave the story barn but happy to leave the Midges. We headed south with a plan to head into Belfast for a quick stop and lunch and then down to Dublin where we would stay the last couple days of our trip. The night before we had gotten directions to a restaurant/pub in Belfast - the John Hewitt, but frankly, I don't know that any of us could understand a word of what the guy was saying to us (mayby Collin a little bit) and none of us were taking notes on directions, so we decided to drive to downtown Belfast, near the Cathedral, and wander around until we found it.

Collin was driving and turned a corner... there was an open parking space, so we took it and got out. To find the John Hewitt was 20 feet away from us! Awesome! We walked down through downtown Belfast for a bit and then back to the JH for lunch (delicious!!). Our Belfast experience was not nearly long enough, but that suffices to tell you about it.

My first Coffee Stout

After loading ourselves back into the car, we headed down to Dublin. Dublin is about 2 1/2 hours south of Belfast (about the distance from LA to San Diego) - but is in a different country! YES! On the way to Dublin, we finally left the United Kingdom and headed into the Republic of Ireland (which was doubly exciting because they are on the Euro - which was almost on par with the dollar!).

Collin matched the train.

Dublin is a notoriously expensive city and parking is super expensive, so we parked at a train station outside of Dublin (in Howth, by the sea) and then walked to our hostel. After a quick rest, we headed out for a little walk and some Dublin nightlife/birthday fun in the Temple Bar District.

We settled in at The Auld Dubliner for dinner and drinks. Even though we were about "pubbed out," the food there was good and the ambiance was nice. The waiters were super nice and during the dessert course (Bailey's pie), Candice went over to give them some candles to put in my pie (she had carried candles across the UK for me. cue sheepish/flattered grin) and they not only served me a birthday pie, but put a birthday song over the PA. I felt loved and super special.

I should have mentioned that my birthday is on the Summer Solstice, so even though we had steadily been traveling south, we knew that it would still be staying light fairly late into the evening. We decided to leave The Auld Dubliner and try to find another location with an outdoor beer garden.

We ended up at The Temple Bar where we had a great time, meeting people, enjoying some live music and laughing a lot! I tried my first pint of Guinness and was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it! I met and chatted up and Irish guy named Phillip who was super chatty and fun, and then the group of us met up with some Irish 20-somethings who were pretending to be from all sorts of other countries. Lots of awesome laughs were had with these kids, who then invited us to come with them to a "club" nearby called The Purty Kitchen.

The Purty Kitchen experience involved: getting let in for free by the bouncers, a crazy squished dance floor with awesome American dance music, and Matt holding all the coats and drinks. Basically, it was a rave and I felt pretty cool to be at a rave on my 36th bday with a bunch of youngsters! We didn't get back to the Hostel until almost 2am and I felt like I was 25 again.

Fun was had! Check out the pictures!!

Matt and me at dinner.

Collin and Candice at dinner.

My first Guinness!

My new Irish friend, Phillip.

We had a pretty good time at the Purty Kitchen - Collin and I danced while Matt held the jackets and Candice people-watched.

Book Review: Somewhere to Belong (by Judith Miller)

2010-08-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

I was reading a lot near the end of the school year - there was so much work to be done that it was great to be able to dive into some uplifting fiction stories.

Somewhere to Belong is the story of Johanna and Berta. Johanna is a young woman who has lived in Main Amana, a sort of devout Christian community, all of her life. In Main Amana, simplicity and community are valued above all things. Community members dress alike in greys and blacks and work hard at various aspects of the community (some do farming, some gardening, some work in the kitchen). Johanna has secretly always wanted to visit the outside world, but after her brother Willhelm left the community and never returned, she knows that it would break her parents' hearts to even suggest a visit.
Berta is a young woman who has lived a fancy life in Chicago but who suddenly finds her family relocated to Amana. The culture of Amana is foreign to her, and frankly she doesn't like it. She rebels, she snoops, she causes no end of trouble for Johanna - who has been assigned to help Berta transition into the community.

All in all, I enjoyed the characters and the story in "Somewhere to Belong." I expected it to be a kind of average story about transitioning into a new community. Instead, there was a lot of drama and intrigue happening as family secrets were revealed and hearts were broken, as people confronted their fears and explored their true place in the world. I also thought that Miller did a pretty good job of painting a picture of what life was like inside small communities like this at the turn of the 20th century. 3 and a half Harper's Bazaar's out of 5.

2 years later: Remembering

2010-08-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by John Irving. I'm not sure how this book slipped by me when it was published YEARS ago. A friend of mine read it, and I remember thinking "oh, I'd like to read that" but I guess I never got around to it. Recently, I had finished a book and didn't have one to take with me on a weekend trip to San Francisco, so I picked up "Owen Meany" in the airport bookshop.

It is a terrific book. Irving is a brilliant writer and I'm enjoying it so much.

The main character, Johnny, is writing about his past and as I read this part today about loss of a loved one, it hit home and made me understand even better the grief that my grandmother feels daily after the loss of Grampa Dick, with whom she shared a life for 60 years. It also helped me understand my own grief.

Here is what he said, I hope it blesses you as well.

"When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes - when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever - there comes another day, and another specific part." (p.139)

A few pages later:
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. I was eleven years old when my mother was killed; I mourn her still. I mourn for more than her, too. I don't feel "comforted"; not yet." (p.147)

When we have loved deeply, and maybe even when we have loved shallowly, our loss goes deep and the ache of loss lingers a long time.

May you (and I) find some comfort and some peace, even as another day of loss steps forward.

Two years: thoughts on life, death, and change.

2010-08-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

I am struck by how much life is changed in two years, and how much it is exactly the same.

Two years ago this week, I was heading with my family to Lake Tahoe to celebrate my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary and a family reunion. I was packing to get ready to move to LA and start my doctoral journey. I had no idea that we would lose Grampa Dick in the days to follow.

I have been remembering those days (reading the ol' blog comes in handy in these moments!) and thinking about life, death, and change. Donald Miller (author of "Blue Like Jazz", etc) has a blog I've been following and today it is about death: http://donmilleris.com/2010/08/05/lucys-blog-post-pt-9-the-thing-about-forgiveness/ and it made me think again about my grampa and what he experienced in those moments when he had his heart attack, all alone in the walkway of the Tahoe casino. I hope that he was not afraid of death in the later hours when he was semi-alert in the hospital. Though I know he was fearing what was happening to him and all around him (you could see and sense his distress), I hope that when he finally breathed his last, he was not afraid.

Don Miller's dog, Lucy, has ostensibly been writing the posts recently and so the one linked above talks about how dogs aren't afraid to die because they don't even know about death. They just trust God and their owners. She wonders who told us about death - because the reason we fear it is that we don't (can't) really know anything about it. And I think she is right. But if we trusted God and what he says about death, we wouldn't fear.

That is true about life, too.

If we trusted God about our lives, we would not fear or be anxious.

One thing that has not changed for me in two years is my not trusting God enough about my life. Also unchanged is my marital status, financial status, and my unsurity (is that a word?) about my future. But if I really trusted God with the plan, if I really believed that I could just walk forward loving God and loving others and God would truly take care of me, then I think I would be less anxious or worried or striving or discontent.

Because sometimes I'm discontent (is that a word?) and it shows in my cranky attitude or bitterness following an event or activity. It shows when my heart aches about being the oldest single person at a wedding or when I ask the leaders of my small group if we could please recruit some other single people because the group has suddenly become "couples and Tiffani."

(to the credit of the people in these various scenarios, they are super gracious and understanding with me)

Yesterday I wrote my friend an email that was full of heartbreak - I vocalized all the things I was thinking and feeling, and today in the Daily Light for 8/12, morning, it said: For the Lord does not cast off forever, though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.(Lam 3:31). And the rest of the verses for this morning were like that. As though God, who loves me even better than an earthly father, thought "now is the time to reminder her of who I am."

I needed the reminder. I need more reminders. I pretty much need to be reminded moment by moment to trust God and not fear or be anxious. To be content and trust that God knows my heart, the he has my back, and that He really will not forget about me.

Maybe if I do, the next two years will indeed show even more change than the last.

Book Review: Isaac Newton by Mitch Stokes (part of the Christian Encounters series)

2010-07-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I weighed in with a book review from Thomas Nelson. Partly this is because I was overwhelmed with course work last year and so reading non-fiction was much more difficult than reading fiction (ala the Bethany House books I reviewed a couple months ago). The other reason was that I was underwhelmed with the book that I was reading.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Christian Encounters" is a series of biographies of notable individuals from throughout history. Ostensibly, these books are written not just to biography the lives and histories of some of the world's great Christians, but also provide some insight into how their faith impacted their work. There are a number of books in the series, covering individuals such as: Jane Austen, Johan Sebastian Bach, Winston Churchhill and Isaac Newton, among others.

I had the option of choosing Jane, but decided to stretch myself and choose Isaac Newton, since in the summer I knew I would be traveling to Cambridge University where Isaac Newton was a pupil and scholar.

From a biographical perspective, "Isaac Newton" is well-written. It documents interesting parts of Newton's history and includes facts from a variety of sources.I definitely finished the book knowing more about Newton than I did when I started. From a "Christian" perspective, I felt like the hype was overblown. Though apparently Newton wrote more about Theology than Science in his life, I did not feel like I finished the book knowing any more about his Christianity nor my own. I did not feel inspired or encouraged that his Christianity was an integral part of his life. In fact, I left feeling that while Newton was a genius and was blessed to come up with some really great scientific insights and inventions, he was also sort of a big baby and cranky and prideful.

I think in hindsight, I would have rather read about Jane. I don't know that my dislike of this book is enough to cancel any affection I may have had for the "Christian Encounters" series - especially as they are all written by different authors and so the style may differ from book to book, but I certainly will not be seeking out these books to read again very often if at all. In all, 2 mathematical bridges out of 5.

As a side note, I was provided this book free of charge by Thomas Nelson Publishers, as a part of their "Book Sneeze" program. In being provided with the book, I am asked to simply read and review it - without any pressure to either praise or pan the reading. My opinion, therefore is my own and free from coercion. Nonetheless, I'm super glad to have access to free books. If you think you'd like to be a part of this program, see the link in the sidebar!

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 7 (part 2)

2010-07-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

The last post had so many photos that I wanted to share with you, but I didn't want to lose your attention about this next part, because it is one of my favorite parts of the trip.

I only have one picture to share with you from this part, so here it is:

Above you'll see the Ballyeamon Camping Barn (Bally means "town" in Gaelic, so there are a lot of locations that start with "bally" in Ireland - Ballycastle, Ballymena, Ballymoney, etc). Anyway, we stayed at the Ballyeamon Camping Barn on our second night in Northern Ireland.

We thought the Camping Barn was going to be more like our first barn than like a hostel. But perhaps the note online that said there was wireless internet should have been our clue. (Incidentally, this was a mis-statement - the wireless was not working but Collin did some good work on the computers there anyway).

When we arrived, a number of people greeted us but the most suprising greeting came from a group of teensy, tiny, virtually invisible and yet completely not invisible bugs called Midges. These Midges announced their presence to us by swarming all over us and then biting us mercilessly. This was the first night (aside from our Barn stay) that we weren't out on the coast, instead, we were inland near the forest. Unfortunately, just like how mosquitos are more likely in the redwood forest than on venice beach, the midges were thick in those parts.

Later, after picking up the laundry, the boys returned to our gigantic four-person apartment (seriously) and in the brief moment the door was open, the apartment was infested. They spent the next 10 minutes swatting at midges in every room. Hilarious.

We were going to cook on the BBQ there at the hostel, but we didn't have a firepit, nor did we have charcoal to really get the BBQ going - so we ended up using the oven in the hostel to make our "hobo stew" (which is basically really a lot of vegetables with some ground meat and spices thrown in). We chatted with the volunteers running the hostel (an American gal, a Welsh guy, and an Irish (I think) guy) and learned about a variety of things - most of which I couldn't understand (when coming from the Irish guy). Collin says that the further north you go the harder the accents are to understand and this guy was a good indication of that. He gave us some suggestions of things to see in Belfast, and then gave us DIRECTIONS to those places, as though expecting us to remember it verbatim. It was hilarious. But as you will see in volume 8, it turned out well.

Well, midges and random conversations not withstanding, our stay at the Ballyeamon Camping Barn was one of the highlights for me, because of the owner, Liz Weir. Liz is a storyteller by trade, who also happens to run the camping barn. She had greeted us when we arrived, and then handed us off into the capable hands of the volunteers and disappeared. She reappeared just as we sat down to eat our dinner.

It was late, having taken some time to get the dinner cooked, and she had already eaten. She sat down at the table with us and made some conversation and then said,

"Oh, ya missed a great storytelling session last night."

We inquired about the session. 'Where was it?' (in the studio, below our apartment) 'How many people come? Are they always the same?' (no, it varies, there are some regulars but not all) 'What was it like?' ("oh, there's music and poems and stories") and finally....

'Um, Liz, would you tell us a story?'

Yes. We asked, even though it was getting onto 9pm and she had already mentioned that she had had a long day and was tired.

But she's a storyteller, and lets face it, what else could we have done?

She said, "OK, D'ya know how St. Patrick ran all the snakes out of Ireland? Well, this is a story of St. Pat." and she proceeded from memory to recite the poem at this link: St. Patrick and the Snakes. You won't be able to get the full impact of how cool it was to hear her tell that story, unless you can conjur up an Irish brogue or quickly Google some Irish video so that you have it in your mind.

So there we were, in Ireland, and there was this storyteller, telling us a story. In fact, at one point someone was washing dishes and she said, "lets leave that till I'm done." - this was a lady at work. It was exactly like I imagined Ireland to be in my head for my whole life.

We were irrepressible, though and enjoyed that tale so much, we asked for another.

I secretly think she was hoping we'd ask.

She said, "well what kind of stories do you like?" and looked around at the four of us and then the rest in the room, saying "mystery? romance?" and then after taking another look at me and Candice said, "Romance then."

Two more stories were told, one was the ancient story of Finvola, an Irish woman, who fell in love with Angus, a Scottish man (a variety of last names are attributed to Angus, according to the internets) and the other was a more modern story about a soldier and his pen pal and a rose. (called "The Rose").

After the third story, Liz left to go to bed and we rued the missed opportunity to take a photo of or with her. Instead, all we had left were our memories of this random night in Antrim County, Northern Ireland, at the Balleyeamon Camping Barn and stories told to us by a pro.

The next day would be my birthday and a great time was had, but this evening at the camping barn, sitting and listening to an Irishwoman tell us stories was a really terrific start to my birthday!

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 7 (part 1)

2010-07-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks for being patient with me as I slooooooowly post stories and pictures from this trip. It has been hard to find the time to set aside and really reflect on the trip.

In today's installment, you will explore Northern Ireland with me and the crew (part 1), learn about Midges and hear a story (part 2).

We woke early in our hostel in Port Stewart but had a relaxing morning as we packed up our stuff and prepared to see some awesome sights. After a short visit with Rick, the owner of Rick's Causeway Coast Hostel, we headed out.

Our first stop was Dunluce Castle, which is a really well-kept ruin of a castle, with a cool video introduction by a descendant of the owner of the castle. I loved that they had signs saying which part of the castle was which and that it was so well-preserved you could really imagine what would have happened in each area.

Under the castle there was an inlet where boats used to dock - we climbed down to explore it!

I just like this one... its a archway below the castle.

Dunluce Castle.

I thought it was really neat how the flowers were growing IN the ruins and reaching up toward the sky. It reminded me of some of the little flowers from Much Afraid's journey in "Hinds Feet on High Places."

Afterward, we headed to Giant's Causeway which is this really cool area where the shoreline is made up of all these hexagonal rock columns. This place is seriously cool - you walk down a big hill toward the shore and there are the columns - just piled up and down, at different heights - but all the same shapes!

from Matt's camera - I love this pic!

Matt did a little photo shoot for me and Candice - here is one for our dance team...

A good view of how the columns range in height but are all still the same shape! So cool!

The view from Giant's Causeway!

Travelers standing where Giants trod.

Finally, after the Causeway we headed out to the Carrick-a-rede Rope Bridge. The bridge is about 80 feet above the sea, and you cross it onto a tiny little island with beautiful views of the sea and the shore. The rope bridge turned out to not be scary at all (and in that sense was kind of disappointing) but the island was beautiful and we were all able to have some time to just sit and think and enjoy the sights.

The President is not afraid of no tall bridge!

Somewhere in there, we went into town and ate lunch at a pub that had really delicious fancy food and the cutest Irish waiters who had fair skin and red hair and said things like "I'm not sure which beer to recommend, I've been drinking cider since I was a boy" - adorable.

It was also during our visit to this pub that I remembered how much Irish is in my (and my dad's) family line, and how much we all look like a variety of Irish "types" - either fair skinned and red hair with blue/green eyes, or fair skinned and brown hair with blue/green eyes. This must be why I like the movie "Darby O'Gill and the Little People" so much - well, that and Sean Connery and his booming baritone.

Start watching this video at 1:26 and you'll understand the magic of the latter.

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 6

2010-07-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

We woke up early and caught the ferry from Troon (Scotland) to Larne (Northern Ireland). Taking a ferry in another country was a cool experience. First of all, it was a morning ferry, but that did not stop the passengers from enjoying some adult beverages in the bar - which I thought was funny and terrifically European. A group of men in the bar area (where we were also seated because there was a big bench seat on which we could nap) were obviously friends and all had moustaches. It was really funny and Collin actually took a MOVIE of them as well as some photos. hilarious. (See the Collin and Candice blog for the movie....)

But wow, am I getting off track! We landed in Larne in Northern Ireland, after leaving the Firth of Colin (in Scotland) and crossing the North Channel of the Irish Sea. Side note: Northern Ireland is a part of the UK, while the Republic of Ireland is its own country. However, because the UK and the Republic of Ireland are both part of the European Union, we were free to travel across all these countries without going through a passport checkpoint.

Leaving the Firth of Colin and headed into the Irish Sea

So we landed in Ireland, on the northeastern side of the island. And it was green and beautiful. Our plan was to meander along the Northern Irish coast, along the Causeway Coastal Road, stopping at things that we were interested in (like Giant's Causeway) and eventually end up at our hostel in Port Stewart, on the northwestern side of the island. This was really a great day, because of our ability to be flexible. As we drove along the coast road, we saw a sign for Glenariff Nature Reserve. Candice read to us about it from the "Ireland" book and it sounded awesome ... so we just drove up there and took a 1 1/2 mile hike to these waterfalls. It was beautiful!

someone had written "TIFF" into the shelter on our hike, so I was excited to pose with it

Matt, the photographer, at work. I love his bandana sticking out of his pocket.

Collin and Candice posing for a outerwear catalog.

The Waterfall Walk lived up to the hype

We wanted to capture the size of the waterfall, so made the boys pose with it.

The travelers at the bottom of the hike.

Later, the coast road turned inland a bit and so we detoured onto the Torr Road, which kept us closer to the coast and provided us with some awesome views of the pastures and the sea. I don't think I can put into words how much I loved our first experiences of Ireland. It was just a beautiful day, first of all, the sun was out and the sky was blue, and there was a constant wind from the sea (just like at home at my beach in LA!). The grass was green everywhere but there was hardly any houses or towns, it was just idyllic (not like LA).

beautiful views of the Irish Sea from the Torr Road.

Collin was super excited!

We were pretty excited too - the scenery was just breathtaking (not to mention how cute we were! LOL)

We all needed to get our pics taken with these beautiful vistas of Ireland.

On the drive, we went to Torr Head, and stood a mere 12 miles from Scotland! (Torr Head is the closest part of Ireland to Scotland) We stopped at a beach and later tried to cross the Carrick a Rede rope bridge (but it was closed by the time we got there). All the while, we just kept exclaiming over the beauty that was Ireland.

The travelers at Torr Head (just 12 miles from Scotland!)

And examply of why they call it "The Emerald Isle"

We had matching baseball hats - we're like the Bobsey Twins.

And I lost my heart.

We decided we'd better get a move on in order to get to the hostel, and we figured that we would just move some of our planned stuff for the day (that we didn't get to because of our meandering) to the next day and instead just go hang at the hostel and enjoy each others company.

One the way back to the hostel, Collin screeches to a stop on the highway.... then immediately reverses. He has found our version of ice cream heaven: Morelli's Ice Cream! We of course went inside and tried a few flavors before we ordered double scoops of delicious, fresh ice cream. What a great way to finish our drive!

Thank goodness this sign said OPEN!

Sad because her ice cream is gone.

Happy because it is so delicious!

Once we arrived at our hostel, we quickly arranged for us to have a 4-person room (with a bathroom en suite!) and got comfortable. We spent the rest of the night sitting on the rocks on the shore and laughing together and then walking around Port Stewart. Great memories had by all that evening.

beautiful view from outside our hostel on the rocks.

I heart this picture of Matt - lets vote: don't you think it should be a profile pic!?!

When Collin and I hang out, he always makes these "Hmmmmm" faces.

It was pretty cold and windy there on the north channel - I was glad we had packed our rain jackets for wind protection!

Our view from the rocks. Tremendous.

Candice made me take this picture about 80 times to get the splash right so it deserves a spot in the blog.

Good friends.

Right here I think Collin looks like he's from 1978.

Another good one of Matt. This was probably right before he started laughing at me and Candice.

Not my fave picture, but one of my fave people.

Ridiculous.

Be careful what you do/say; its very likely Collin is filming it.

Walking around Port Stewart.

My walking buddy.

Sunset at Port Stewart.

We slept in the next day and then proceeded to adventurize Northern Ireland. Stories to come, and I do mean stories.

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 5

2010-07-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

We awoke early-ish, planning to spend the entire day in Edinburgh. We had tickets for the 10:30am shuttle into town and our last possible shuttle back to the hostel was 10pm that night. Our plan was to attack Edinburgh full-force - and boy did we ever!

Collin is particularly good at looking at a map and understanding where we are on it. He doesn't even have to stand in it, like Joey does. (from Friends - "London, baby!") So he led us on our adventure around Edinburgh.

On the way, my friends - who are awesome and know that I love old cemeteries - saw one and suggested we check it out. It turned out to be a really cool cemetery that housed the Scottish-American memorial and the tomb of philosopher David Hume.It was a really neat old cemetery and I loved it.

Scottish-American Veteran Memorial

Next stop, we walked up to the top of a hill and found the National Monument, which was erected to celebrate Scotland getting representation in the British Parliament. From that point we could see into the harbor and most of the city. It was a nice start to the day.

Holyrood Park (including the Palace of Holyrood, Holyrood Abbey, and Holyrood Park)

Near the National Monument - there is a ball at the top of this building that drops every day when the castle fires the "One O'clock Gun" as a visual sign of the time.

The National Monument

We walked down to the Palace of Holyrood (former home of Mary, Queen of Scots; and now where the Queen of England stays when she visits Scotland). We elected not to tour the palace (though it looked neato) because it was like 20 dollars to do so, and we knew we wanted to tour the castle, which also cost money (about 15 dollars for a student). We were bummed to miss the palace, but glad to have something to look forward to on future visits.

The Palace of Holyrood

We wanted to get to the castle in time to hear the "One O'Clock Gun" get fired, but alas, our spontaneous little adventures kept us from that event. Instead, we were walking toward the castle and hungry, so decided to stop at a cute little cafe for lunch. While at the Cafe, Candice noticed that she had a missed call and a voice message on her phone....which turned out to be from American Airlines! They had found Matt's bag!! We were (of course) super excited! Its hard to say who was more excited, Matt or Collin - since Collin had a new camera in Matt's bag and the backpack also included all of Matt's hiking/camping equipment. We spent the rest of the trip saying "Matt! They found your bag!" at random moments.

Our happy faces when we found out that Matt's bag had been located!

After lunch we headed up toward Edinburgh Castle and toured the heck out of that place. It was really interesting to see the city and learn about the history of Scotland. They have done a really good job with the exhibits at the castle! One of the highlights for me was seeing the crown jewels and learning about how they were passed down and then hidden and then rediscovered.

seriously.

John Knox's house in Edinburgh. Outside, it said, "Love God above all and your neighbor as yourself."

St. Giles Cathedral (we have no pics from inside this beautiful church because you had to pay $$ to take photos and we are cheap except when it comes to buying beer)

Here is a small slideshow from the castle:

As we walked through Edinburgh, one thing that we had wanted to do - but saved till the end of the day - was climb up to "Arthur's Seat." "Arthur's Seat" is the peak of a group of hills that sit behind Holyrood Palace. We knew that from the top we would have a 360 degree of the city, and we had been talking about doing the walk. Ultimately, we decided to do it, so we hiked back down to that side of the city and began our walk up. I thought we could take a little bit longer path that was a little less steep - because one of us had a backpack full of wine bottles and all of us were kind of tired - but it turned out that the path I chose was way long. Way longer than the more direct/steep route, and that because we had not taken the normal route we ended up having to go up a huge flight of stairs cut into the side of the hill.

Despite that, it turned out to be a really great hike. Candice and I kept each other company and had some good conversation while the guys kept up with each other. At the top, the view was beautiful. Though it was about 7-something pm, the sun was still up - though headed toward the horizon and so the lighting was amazing. It was really a great end to our day.

Some of the pictures from atop Arthur's Seat:

After taking in the view, we headed down and to a pub where we squished into a corner and had some great food while watching England play in the World Cup. Later, we headed back to the hostel to get ready for our ferry ride to Ireland the next morning.

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 4

2010-07-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

We woke early. Not only did the sun stay up late there in the Lakes... but it rose early. Little did we realize that we were headed further north where there would only be 4 hours of darkness for the next two days (did I mention that aside from waking up at 4am, that it like totally the awesomest!?)

We left Fell End Barn after chatting with the owner of Thornthwaite Farms and meeting "Ginger" the horse that traveled to northern England all the way from Oklahoma. Our travels on Day Thursday took us, eventually, to Edinburgh.

One of the things I loved about traveling with this crew was that while we had our daily locations planned (in the sense that we had hostels booked along the road at places we wanted to stay) we didn't have our daytimes completely planned. That meant that we could be really flexible about what we did along the way.

We stopped for breakfast in a town (Coniston) near the barn and then explored a little bit, ending up along one of the many lakes in that area of the country.

Matt and the President enjoy a "full english breakfast"

I love visiting ancient cemeteries, and this one in Coniston was really neat!

Lakeside, enjoying a little rest from our walk.

I could so totally live in the Lake District of Northern England. Now if only I could figure out HOW to make that work!

Also, on the way to Edinburgh, we stopped in a cute little English town to go to the bathroom and stretch our legs. Then we saw a sign that talked about a scenic hike and waterfalls - so we agreed: "Lets do it!" We headed out, following the signs toward the waterfalls and eventually found ourselves winding our way up a forested path. The river at the bottom was slow and not very full, so the boys doubted how good the falls would be, but by the time we got to the top, we were all happy with the vistas, the waterfall, and the exercise. It was a beautiful little forest and a nice waterfall.

from Collin's camera - the waterfall near the top.

Along the drive, as we came out of that town we went through a small pass and the view as we looked behind ourselves was incredible! It was the perfect vista!

I mean seriously, so beautiful!

Meanwhile, Matt was aggressively trying to get American Airlines to care about his bag and to get over to the Virgin Atlantic people. He was doing a great job when we totally lost service. Frustrating! We were all worried that his bag would never be found and would end up on a website like this: http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/ (which is probably where my I-pod ended up after I left it on the plane in England in 2007). Anyway, we were all trying to stay hopeful, but were quickly becoming "realists."

As we continued toward our hostel, which was located just outside of downtown Edinburgh and offered free parking and wifi (hooray!), the signs began to change and now we were seeing English and Scottish words on the signs. That was really cool.

We arrived at our hostel and took the shuttle into town for a quick foray into Edinburgh and a meal at a local pub - delicious - before bunking down for the night. Our plan was to hit Edinburgh hard the next day!

Collin is an international superstar in Edinburgh

The castle at dusk.

Excited to be in Edinburgh!

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 3

2010-07-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

We left Cambridge early on Wednesday morning, headed to the Lake district of northern England. I didn't know much about this part of England except that it would be hilly and pastoral and that Jane Austen's heroines (and other 18th century characters) love that part of the country. Candice and Matt packed the trunk impressively - we had some coolers with food and drink. all of our stuff (well, all of our stuff except Matt's, as his bag was still AWOL), sleeping bags, towels, and more. It was incredible.

the trunk, magnificently packed

The drive to the "Lakes" was really fun, the landscape was beautiful, the sky was clear and blue and the Happy Honda was running like a top. Eventually we arrived at Thornthwaite Farm, home of the Fell End Barn - where we would be staying the night. This stone barn is set in the middle of a sheep pasture (there is a stone wall surrounding it, but sheep just outside the wall, baaa-ing all day/night - very cool) and has running water and a little bathroom and even has mattresses for people to sleep on top of (with their sleeping bags). There was a fire pit, picnic tables, and we were the ONLY people staying there that night! (It sleeps 8, but there were no other campers that night)

Our little traveling companion - the President of the USA!

The camping barn - left door is "bedroom" area, right door is bathroom. Kitchen was further to the right.

Matt and I, excited to be at the barn and seeing sheep and rolling hills.

After we unloaded the car, we set out on a walk around the area. We followed a road for a ways and then began climbing up the side of this hill. Eventually we came out on top - we had a 360 degree view of the area, even though we weren't very high - but the other mountains were far away, so we were the "highest" for some ways. It was just breathtaking. I could picture people walking across fields to their neighbor's houses; could imagine different characters from books running across hills. The sun was still high, even though by then it was like 7pm and it was just beautiful.

the view from the top

travel buddies!

the view from the barn in the morning

The barn from the hill behind it.

When we got back down to the barn, we built a fire and enjoyed some really delicious vegetables and soup cooked over the fire. Because we were so far north, and it was close to the solstice, it stayed light till super late and we just enjoyed getting caught up with each other and goofing off. A great start to the vacation.

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 2

2010-07-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

On the way back to Cambridge, we stopped at a cute little pub on the side of the motorway, The Turnpike! We had our first pub food and beer and enjoyed being out in the great weather and just getting caught up. Candice and Collin did a really good job of keeping me and Matt from being too jet lagged.

Our first (of many) pub meals.

The President with our first English beers!

We were so excited to be reunited that we took a round robin of pics! Somehow we did not get girl-girl/boy-boy pics, but those would come later.

Upon arriving in Cambs, we toured the town, made some great fajitas, and worked on planning the trip a bit.

The walk around town was especially fun as we toured a number of colleges (well, their gardens) that are a part of Cambridge University, we got to see Collin's desk at Tyndale House, and we saw Isaac Newton's "Mathematical Bridge" (not pictured in this post).

Collin is a part of Darwin College.

The river behind Darwin College - punts and bridges and gardens - so sweet!

Walking along Cambridge at dusk. Beautiful!

Good buddies.

I loved seeing people punt on the river!

The University Library at Cambridge. It is a copyright library which means that it has a copy of EVERY book published in the UK!

The beautiful gardens at one of the colleges. The grounds of the colleges were exquisite.

Trinity College (maybe?) quad.

Where the magic happens!: Collin's desk at Tyndale House

The beautiful view from my room at Collin and Candice's house. Such a sweet little English townscape, I thought!

It was a great start to the trip (even though we were still fighting with American about Matt's missing bag).

Epic UK Road Trip: Volume 1

2010-07-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Recently, as many of you know, I took a trip to the UK to visit my friends, Candice and Collin, with our friend Matt. We are good friends from graduate school and last year had some really fun times together in Waco and St. Louis before C&C moved to Cambridge. These fun times led us to say, "Hey, you know what would be really fun?!?!!? If we all met up in Cambridge and toured around together."

So then we decided we were for serious on this plan.

And then I bought a plane ticket.

And then Matt did too.

And IT. WAS. ON.

So the Monday after finals ended, I grabbed my suitcase, eye mask and travel pants and got into an airplane headed to Chicago Illinois. My original plan was to fly to Chicago, where Matt and I would have shared layovers for a few hours, and then I would follow Matt by about two hours into London, arriving on Tuesday morning.

As my flight to Chicago seemed to be nearing its end, the Pilot came on the PA and informed us that we would be making an unscheduled stop in ST. LOUIS because some type of equipment on the plane wasn't working "that we needed in order to land in Chicago." I wasn't too worried because I had a 6 hour layover in Chicago, so I was feeling good about making my connection. When we landed, at first we weren't sure if they were going to let us off the plane. So I sent a text to Matt (who was flying STL to Chicago) to say "funny story! I'm in your town!" and found out his flight was delayed.

Fast forward about 30 minutes. They took us off our plane and had no idea when we were supposed to get going again. Other people were rebooking onto other flights to Chicago, but I was just standing firm, hoping my connection would still be OK. Meanwhile Matt and I got to visit a bit before finding out that they had CANCELLED his flight to Chicago, which then hosed up his connecting flight to London (on another airline).

While I was fretting over Matt and they were trying to board my plane, Matt was getting the runaround from American Airlines. I added him to standby on my flight, hoping to at least get him to Chicago. Eventually Matt was able to get rebooked to Chicago (on my randon, unscheduled flight) and then rebooked to London. You can read about our frustration with "the man" over on Candice and Collin's blog.

While we were worried about Matt's luggage getting on the flights (with good reasons, it turns out), Matt and I ended up having a really nice time hanging out in Chicago and both enjoyed good red-eye flights to London.

Candice and Collin were there to welcome me when I landed in London and then we waited for Matt.

I took a tiny President Obama with us on the trip - here we are in our unexpected landing in St. Louis. He is as excited to see Matt as I was!

Matt was also excited to see us...

Finally in Chicago, I was looking a little travel worn, but glad to know that both Matt and I were going to make it all the way to London!

Leaving Chicago - finally - for London.

My first view of the UK from the plane.

Candice and I waiting for Matt.

More installations of the trip to come.....